‘The Bachelor’ Recap: Peter Fears 1 Girl Isn’t Being Real With Him After He Hears Sydney’s Concerns
Another week, another fight on ‘The Bachelor’! This week, Alayah is the target, as multiple girls bring their concerns about her actions to Peter’s attention.
The Jan. 20 episode of The Bachelor picks up in the midst of tension between Kelsey and Hannah Ann. Kelsey is pissed that Hannah Ann ‘stole’ a bottle of champagne that she specifically brought to drink with Peter Weber, while Hannah Ann accuses Kelsey of ‘bullying’ her. The next morning, the ladies decide to talk it out. Hannah Ann defends her accusations about Kelsey, and while Kelsey apologizes for the things she said, she refuses to be called a bully. By the end of the conversation, things are far from resolved.
Meanwhile, Peter goes on a one-on-one date with Victoria P. Since he’s from the area, he gives her a tour of his hometown, and they go to his favorite spot to partake in some line dancing. Things are super natural between Peter and Victoria, and they both admit that they’re smitten. Later on, Victoria gets emotional as she discusses her dad’s death and her mom’s battle with addiction, and how difficult that all made her childhood. It’s a super heavy conversation, but Peter loves that Victoria opened up, and he gives her the rose.
Next up is a group date for Kiarra, Sarah, Tammy, Kelley, Shiann, Savannah, Sydney, and Alayah. The date is led by former Bachelor contestant, Demi Burnett, who organizes a pillow fight for the girls. Things get particularly intense between Alayah and Sydney, who Demi chooses as the final two. Alayah is eventually declared the winner, but she’s made an enemy out of Sydney.
Sydney is convinced that Alayah is manipulative and fake. She confronts Alayah about being a former pageant queen, claims that this has helped her learn how to put on a facade in front of Peter and the cameras. Eventually, Sydney brings up some of her concerns to Peter. She doesn’t use Alayah’s name specifically, but she mentions that some of the girls might not be genuine or there for the right reasons.
It's #TheBachelor Monday and the #ChampagneGate saga continues. pic.twitter.com/FdZ11qxawW
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) January 20, 2020
Peter addresses the girls on the date with his fears that one or more of them could potentially blindside him because they’re not being real. He puts Sydney on the spot, and she reveals to the group that she thinks Alayah is putting on a front when the cameras are on. Peter urges the group to be completely genuine with him, and when he steps away, Sydney and Alayah exchange words. Alayah pulls Peter aside to defend herself. She starts crying and insists that she’s there for the right reasons. Peter is left more confused than ever, as he believes both girls. At the end of the night, Peter gives the group date rose to Sydney, and praises her for being so honest with him.
The next day, Chris Harrison reveals that there will be a pool party instead of a traditional cocktail party. There’s still obvious tension between Alayah and Sydney. Other girls, including Kelsey, Lexi and Natasha, bring up similar concerns about Alayah to Peter at the party. Alayah is pissed, and she pulls Sydney aside to chat about the situation. She calls Sydney out for putting her relationship with Peter in jeopardy based strictly on her opinion, and they are far from being on the same page.
Alayah finally gets some one-on-one time with Peter. She admits that she truly has no idea why some of the other girls don’t think that she’s authentic, and she insists that what she’s feeling for Peter is real. He assures her that he believes her, and Alayah is left totally relieved after the conversation.
However, Peter doesn’t seem to be fully convinced. He trusts Victoria P.’s opinion, so he asks her what she thinks about Alayah, especially since they sort of knew each other from competing against one another at Miss USA. Victoria P. reveals that Alayah asked her not to tell The Bachelor producers that they knew each other before the show. She also explains that Alayah is “very into the opportunities that could come out of [the show].”
Peter is left even more frustrated and confused than before, and he confronts Alayah with the new information that he’s learned. He explains that multiple girls have brought up concerns about her, and flat-out asks whether or not Alayah asked Victoria to lie about their previous relationship. Alayah insists that she wasn’t trying to be manipulative, and reveals that she feared she and Victoria would be disqualified for knowing each other, which is why she wanted to lie. Things don’t end on a positive note between them, and Peter admittedly has a lot to think about.
At the rose ceremony, Victoria P. has a rose from her one-on-one, and Sydney and Victoria F. have roses from their group dates. Peter gives the remaining roses to: Kelsey, Hannah Ann, Natasha, Lexi, Madison, Shiann, Kelley, Kiarra, Tammy, Savannah, Deandra, and Mykenna. There was a 16th rose, but Peter opts not to hand it out to anyone, which means Alayah, Jasmine, Alexa and Savannah are eliminated. After the rose ceremony, though, Peter is admittedly unsure if he made the right decision by sending Alayah home.
More 'Bachelor' News:
The #1 source on the internet for all your "Bachelor," "Bachelorette," and "Bachelor in Paradise" spoilers, Reality Steve talks about each episode, answers your emails, and covers everything you need to know about what's going on in Bachelor Nation. For years, he's been giving you the inside scoop on all things "Bachelor"-related. Now, hear him speak weekly on the subject, along with candid conversations with former contestants and others in the reality TV world, along with all your latest juicy gossip. It's candid, it's colorful, and it may be crass, but that's why he's Reality Steve.
Ep 261 - Answering Your "Reader Emails" & Hannah Brown's Book Revelation
Ep 252 - Interview with "Game of Roses" Hosts, Chad Kultgen & Lizzy Pace
Ep 247 - Interview with @Bachelordata Creator Suzana Somers & Olympic Gold Medal Gymnast Carly Patterson
Ep 246 - Interview with Emily O'Brien, the "Bachelors" Epidemiologist
Ep 245 - Answering Your "Reader Emails" & Audio Questions
Reality Steve Podcast #235 - Interview with Comedian, Actress, & Author Manon Mathews
Ep 230 - Interview with Kirpa Sudick
Ep 228 - Interview with Erin Smith from "Temptation Island"
Ep 227 - Interview with Nickole Ciszak & Alexcys Homan of "Temptation Island"
Ep 222 - Interview with Taylor Nolan
Ep 218 - Finale Spoiler & Your Audio Emails Answered
Ep 216 - Interview with Brett Vergara, Co-Host of the "Baby Got Bach" Podcast
Ep 215 - Interview with "Game of Roses" Podcast Hosts, Chad Kultgen & Lizzy Pace and Marie Bass, Evan Bass' Ex-Wife
Ep 214 - Interview with Emily O'Brien, the "Bachelors" Epidemiologist
Ep 213 - Interview with Suzana, Creator of the @Bachelordata IG Account
Ep 212 - Interview with Tayshia Adams' Ex-Husband Josh Bourelle & Memphis Garretts Ex-Girlfriend, Dominique Scalise
Ep 197 - Reader Emails Answered
Ep 194 - Interview with "One To Watch" Author, Kate Stayman-London
Bachelorettes bare all at Sidney taping of Bachelor Canada
There were catfights and compliments, heartfelt apologies and even a Mexican standoff.
The title of Wednesday's Bachelor Canada episode - Women Tell All - said it all. Sixteen bachelorettes did just that during Citytv's lively special, taped Nov. 3 at Sidney's Mary Winspear Centre before a studio audience.
While fans will have to wait until next Wednesday to find out who, if any, of the two finalists - Bianka, the romantically cautious Mississauga, Ont., registered nurse, or Whitney, the purposeful Calgary admin-strative assistant -bachelor Brad Smith chooses as his potential fiancÃ©e, last night's gabfest provided plenty of interim entertainment.
"All of these women took a huge leap of faith in love and themselves for a chance to meet Mr. Right," declared host Tyler Harcott, whose duties included putting Whitney, the de facto villainess, in the hot seat before bringing on Brad himself.
"I'm more nervous than I was on night one," confessed Brad, referring to that long first night referenced in clips when 25 bachelorettes arrived in limos to meet him at the Bear Mountain mansion, where the girls lived for two months.
With trademark flair, Harcott eased the girls and boy through terrain as emotionally bumpy as it could be ridiculous.
How many bachelorettes had "fake boobs," he wondered, prompting a show of hands after a segue from a related clip.
And if you were wondering whether Gabrielle, the trash-talking Oakville, Ont., law student, is as mean-spirited as she first appeared, or whether sexy and driven Whitney, who raised hackles with remarks like "Brad's mine!" and "I hate this girl and I want her gone," is really that ruthless, Women Tell All offered colourful clues.
"She's the devil. She's evil, very evil," Gabrielle famously snarled. She didn't appear to have changed her tune last night.
"Why don't you just say what's on your mind?," quipped Harcott after a clip recalling Gabrielle's infamous putdowns.
They were so provocative Winnipeg med student Laura F. thought Gabrielle was "a plant" to stir things up, he noted.
"The amazing thing about Gabrielle is she did own up. She honestly is the sweetest person in the entire world," said Kara, the Delta, B.C. grad student who reflected on her own elimination last week after a skeet-shooting date in Nova Scotia.
"It was tough seeing that episode," she admitted.
The showdown between Whitney, a lightning rod for controversy, and her competitors was a guilty pleasure.
"You're a sneaky little cockroach," snapped Gabrielle after Whitney claimed: "I never directly said anything negative toward any girl."
While the audience registered its disapproval - as did an unsmiling Ana, who said, "I'm not clapping" - when Whitney made her entrance, some expressed unexpected sympathy for the bachelorette who seemed emotionally fragile.
"I wasn't the only person, regardless of what anyone says," maintained Whitney, her voice cracking as she answered criticism for making harmful remarks.
"It was a tough situation for me and I apologize. I truly do, to any one of you I offended."
When Britany, the nurse from Swift Current, Sask., praised her as "a great person," Whitney even shed a tear.
"I knew this was going to come in handy," she said, smiling faintly as she accepted a hankie.
"There's that saying, 'Good things come to those who wait.' I don't believe in that," said Whitney, striking in a dark, slitted minidress, in defence of her reputation as an unbridled go-getter.
"If you want something in life, go and get it."
When Gabrielle rolled her eyes, Whitney snapped: "You can roll your eyes all you want. A lot of things you say are arrogant."
She wasn't the only one who criticized Gabrielle for her cutting remarks.
"Do you feel happy with the way you acted?" Britany said. "I think it's more like bullying. It shows your own insecurities."
The crowd cheered when Gabrielle apologized and they hugged.
Brad wasn't always feeling the love last night.
"To be honest, I thought they would have had a different bachelor," said Melissa Marie, the Playboy model and single mother.
"He's a nice guy but there's a lot of nice guys out there. Just sayin."
He seemed choked when Tia, the Ottawa marketing co-ordinator, recalled telling him she "wasn't feeling a strong connection from the start" while they were in Mexico.
He vehemently denied Tia's claim.
"You never said that to me, ever," Brad said. "It didn't happen. I'm not going to argue."
Replied Tia: "It's the truth and I don't know why you're denying that."
Ana jumped into the standoff, questioning Tia's motivation.
"Then why did you keep accepting the roses?" Ana asked. "I honestly think Tia was kind of two-faced."
Brad grew misty-eyed expressing regret over how he unceremoniously rejected Edmonton-based waitress Laura B. in Paris.
"You don't understand the value of the person you are," he said. "Any guy who's lucky enough to be your boyfriend is going to be the luckiest guy in the world."
Chantelle, the vivacious and virginal young Alberta pastor, reaffirmed her reputation as a fan favourite.
"Chantelle is one of the most beautiful people you'll ever meet," said Newmarket, Ont., yoga instructor Michelle B., noting no one judged the perky teetotaller for her choices. "I know she changed my life."
Chantelle couldn't resist asking Brad if he would have given her a rose had she not left because of her grandfather's death.
"I would have but I think the path that leads after would have been uncomfortable for both of us," he said. "I think how you live your life is amazing and if I were to kiss you and not end up with you I would have been disrespecting you."
The audience cheered when Harcott told Chantelle "We are all richer for having you in our lives."
Other highlights included a "deleted scenes" reel set to honky-tonk music that included clips of Brad choking on champagne, Gabrielle wondering aloud who Mother Teresa was ("She was, like a nun?") and Bianka laughing convulsively over the antics of a flatulent horse during a romantic carriage ride.
To see Women Tell All and more, visit
bachelorcanada.ca. [email protected]
Even as plastic surgery continues to become more common and consequently much more acceptable than in previous decades, many celebrities have come forward to confess that they actually regret getting breast implants. Although a different aesthetic is more popular now, there was a time when having massive breasts, a teeny-tiny waist, and barely-there hips was the ideal. From there, we went to skinny/curvy with big boobs, and now an exaggerated hourglass figure is in. The common thread? Large breasts!
It's no wonder many stars and aspiring A-listers chose to go under the knife to achieve a larger cup size. But now that the pressure has faded and many studies have come out proving the dangers of breast augmentation surgery, a number of celebs have publicly expressed that they wish they hadn't gotten implants — and some have even had them removed.
According to the Food and Drug Administration, breast implants are associated with an increased risk of a type of large-cell lymphoma, connective tissue disease, breast cancer, reproductive complications, breastfeeding issues, and more. For many women, the risk just isn't worth it anymore. Not to mention the fact that some women, including celebrities, get the surgery and still don't achieve the look they wanted. Beauty standards are ever-changing, after all, and hopefully we're moving toward the norm being true body acceptance, regardless of whether a woman chooses surgery or to stay natural.
As we strive for that, it's so important for women to share their stories with each other, and be honest about their experiences so we can all make informed choices. So for that reason, here are 20 celebrities who've regretted their breast implants.
It makes sense that having big breasts would help someone get cast on a romance-based reality TV show, and it seemed to work for Bachelorette and Bachelor star Clare Crawley, but in July 2021 she took to social media to let her followers know that she's having her implants removed.
"My body is fighting them. My body can't heal. My body is in fight mode constantly," Clare wrote on her Instagram story, explaining that doctors believe her implants are causing her white blood cell count to be too high.
In May 2020, model and TV personality Chrissy Teigen took to Twitter to explain that she was getting her implants taken out after she mentioned that she had to get a COVID-19 test because she was getting ready to have surgery.
"I'm just over it. I'd like to be able to zip a dress in my size, lie on victoria f bachelor fake boobs belly with pure comfort! No biggie!" she tweeted.
Real Housewives of Orange County star Tamra Judge decided to have her breast implants removed during the summer of 2021. She made the announcement on Instagram in June, citing "autoimmune issues" as the reason for her decision. When asked by a fan whether she'd still have them removed if she wasn't experiencing health issues, she replied that she wouldn't be in such a rush but she's "so over having large breasts that seem to get bigger with age."
Kourtney Kardashian had her breast augmentation when she was just 22 years old and has said that she regrets the procedure. "I had my boobs done but if I could go back, I wouldn't have done it. I was so cute before," she reportedly told Showbiz Spy in 2011, going on to say she was considering removing the implants. We don't think she ever did, though.
Former Glee star Heather Morris had her breast implants removed years ago after realizing that they were getting in the way of her preferred lifestyle.
"It was hard being active with them, because my chest was always sore. It hurt a lot, and I didn't like always being in pain, so they had to go!" she told Fitness magazine in 2011.
Hayley Hubbard, influencer, podcaster, and wife of Florida Georgia Line's Tyler Hubbard, started having anxiety about developing breast implant illness because she knew her implants were made using "gummy bear silicone." She revealed on her Instagram story that she had them removed in February 2021. "The anxiety of having them in my body was not worth it, and I just kind of wanted a more natural look," she said.
In August 2020, High School Musical actress Ashley Tisdale got real with her Instagram followers when she wrote a long post about her explant surgery, explaining that a series of minor health issues including gut problems and food sensitivities, along with her increasing dissatisfaction with her breasts, led her to have the implants removed.
Supermodel Gisele Bündchen suffered body insecurities after her children like just about every other mom in the world. She secretly had a breast augmentation, but she instantly regretted it.
"When I woke up, I was like, 'What have I done?' I felt like I was living in a body I didn't recognize," she said. "For the first year, I wore [baggy] clothes because I felt uncomfortable," she wrote in her memoir, Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life.
Once upon a time, fashion designer and former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham had what she reportedly once called "torpedo bazookas." By 2014 she had had them removed, and in 2017 she revealed to Vogue UK that she would tell her younger self, "Don't mess with your boobs … just celebrate what you've got."
Former Bachelorette Melissa Rycroft announced her explant surgery on Instagram in July 2020, sharing, "I'm officially a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee again. Implants are OUT." Her decision was based on her unhappiness with the results of the breast implants and the fact that she had reconstruction surgery and they still weren't right.
Reality TV star Heidi Montag's implants were an F-cup, and it was just too much for her small frame. She had them removed in 2013 and a few years later she told People, "They were so heavy they were falling through the skin. They were just too heavy for my body, and I was in pain and uncomfortable all the time. I thought, 'What do I need this big of breasts for?'"
It's unclear, however, whether she got rid of her implants altogether or just went for a smaller size.
The influencer, cookbook author, and wife of NBA player Stephen Curry kept the news of her explant surgery quiet until Chrissy Teigen fessed up. At that point, she commented on one of Chrissy's posts saying that she had her breast implants removed in 2019. "I got mine out last year. They were making me so sick," she wrote.
Former child actress Melissa Gilbert once said that she got breast implants because she didn't feel curvy enough. In 2015, the Little House on the Prairie star told ABC News that she had them removed because she read they should be replaced every 10 to 12 years, but she made the decision to do away with implants altogether rather than replacing them.
"Not only do I feel healthier and better, but I don't have these inappropriately large breasts that were wrong for my body, kind of getting in the way," she said.
Although she's most famous these days for having two supermodel daughters, Yolanda Hadid was once a model herself, so it's no surprise she had implants. On a 2016 episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the cameras followed along as she had them removed. She has Lyme disease and was informed that the silicone could be making it worse.
At one point, singer and TV personality Adrienne Bailon had large implants that she revealed caused her insecurity. "I got my breast implants taken out because I looked crazy. The insecurity was like, 'I don't have big breasts,' to 'Now everyone is looking at my breasts,'" she said on her show The Real victoria f bachelor fake boobs 2014.
Baywatch bombshell Pamela Anderson arguably had some of the most famous implants in the world, but she actually had them removed way back in 1999, when she was 31 years old. "It's something I've been wanting to do for a long time and I'm very happy with my decision," Pamela said at the time.
Real Housewives of Orange County star Emily Simpson said in August 2020 that she planned to have her implants removed as a part of her fitness and weight loss journey.
"Hair extensions are gone, and soon these implants are about to be evicted. I feel lighter. Free. And maybe someday I'll be brave enough to share the 'before' photo with you all — until then make YOU a priority," she wrote on Instagram.
Many years ago, music icon Cher admitted that her breast implants were a huge mistake. She reportedly told People they were "a nightmare." "They were really botched in every way. If anything, they were worse after than before," she said. From photos, it looks like she either had them fixed or removed.
Actress Tori Spelling, who is a mom to five kids, was upset to discover that her implants were affecting her ability to breastfeed. "I got my boobs done in my early 20s, and if I had known it would or could possibly impact production of [breast] milk, I would never have had them done," she told Good Morning America in 2011. She eventually had them removed in 2014.
American Pie actress Tara Reid had an absolutely awful experience with her breast augmentation, and she thinks she actually ended up losing work because of it. "Big Bs, he gave me Cs, and I didn't want them," she told Us Weekly about two botched plastic surgeries she endured that were unfortunately revealed in a now infamous red carpet wardrobe malfunction. She was "devastated."
celebritiesplastic surgerybreast implantscelebrities with breast implantsbreast augmentationcelebrity plastic surgery
It looks like worked out for Victoria F, because Peter HELLA NOTICED…
I feel like we’re all getting an idea of Victoria F’s overriding arc. Her Night One showing involved feeling invisible, her first words to Peter having been completely forgotten by him. She was seen crying in the mansion and then again in an ITM where she described the other women—her competition—as, “so pretty, so pretty”. Week 2, she’s struggling with insecurities, feeling like she’s not enough and has to compensate to stand out. I gather that in the long run, Victoria F’s story might be that this formerly insecure woman found strength and confidence throughout the experience. We’ll see if I’m right.
Let me be clear: I really LIKE Victoria F. Like, she’s a legit favorite of mine. I relate to her because I too would not want to walk down a runway in front of an audience. I relate to looking at the women around you on Night One and being in awe of how jaw-droppingly beautiful they all are. I LOVE how open she is about her general discomfort, how she whispers because it feels more private (I too was a whisperer!), and how she literally shields her face from the camera…
List of Saturday Night Live commercial parodies
Wikipedia list article
On the American late-night live television sketch comedy and variety show Saturday Night Live (SNL), a commercial advertisement parody is commonly shown after the host's opening monologue. Many of the parodies were produced by James Signorelli. The industries, products, and ad formats targeted by the parodies have been wide-ranging, including fast food, beer, feminine hygiene products, toys, clothes, medications (both prescription and over-the-counter), financial institutions, automobiles, electronics, appliances, public-service announcements, infomercials, and movie & TV shows (including SNL itself).
Many of SNL's ad parodies have been featured in prime-time clip shows over the years, including an April 1991 special hosted by Kevin Nealon and Victoria Jackson, as well as an early 1999 follow-up hosted by Will Ferrell that features his attempts to audition for a feminine hygiene commercial. In late 2005 and in March 2009, the special was modernized, featuring commercials created since the airing of the original special.
- 16 and Pregnant Spinoffs — A November 2010 ad finds MTV cashing in with spinoffs inspired by 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom (complete with an altered logo to "MTV: Maternity Television"). Promoted here are My Super Sweet 16 and Pregnant; America's Best Pregnant Dance Crew; Wild 'n Out with a Special Guest: A Baby; an all-baby-cribs edition of Cribs; and, in an odd case of satirical prophecy, I'm Snooki and Pregnant (Snooki Polizzi would reveal her pregnancy and engagement in March 2012).
- 1-800-Flowers — Kristen Wiig promotes the floral retailer as a way to show love for the mother (Kate McKinnon) who's always been there for her… even when Mom is at her most annoying.
- 5-hour Empathy — "For when you just don't get it," the makers of 5-hour Energy offer this liquid supplement that provides, as Kenan Thompson's voiceover notes, "5 full hours of complete, intimate understanding of years of systemic oppression and ever-present racism." But even after an initial desire to do so, ad subject Beck Bennett is hesitant to try it, going so far as to pantomime chugging it down ("The cap is still on," notes Thompson); insisting he's not racist ("I voted for Biden; what more do you want?!"); and offering it to wife Heidi Gardner, who also declines ("I don't need that, 'cause I'm a woman, so… it's the same").
- 24-Hour Energy for Dating Actresses — Having an actress for a paramour, and dealing with their quirks, can leave a man exhausted and debilitated. Luckily, this once-daily supplement victoria f bachelor fake boobs men the energy they need to handle their paramours' constant rehearsing, mastering of foreign accents, emotional swings over callbacks, etc. Also promoted is a female formula, "24-Hour Energy for Dating Comedians."
- 39 Cents — In a parody of international aid advertisements, Charles Daniels (portrayed by episode host Bill Hader) visits a poverty-stricken African village while gently asking the viewer to send just 39 cents to provide food, water, and medicine, saying it costs less than a small cup of coffee. However, the villagers (portrayed by Kenan Thompson, Jay Pharoah, Sasheer Zamata, and then-SNL writer Leslie Jones) begin confronting him over the fact that he is requesting such an insultingly low amount to save their lives, especially considering how expensive coffee is. Daniels continues to give increasingly weak answers to their questions, claiming the number was determined by "experts," until he finally admits he does not even know what country he is actually in. The skit ends with Jones' character taking Daniels guaranty and demanding $200 in cash to return him.
- Abilify for Candidates — "Because not everyone can be President," this version of the atypical antipsychotic is specially formulated for candidates in the 2016 race for the presidency, among them Rick Santorum (Taran Killam) and Mike Huckabee (Bobby Moynihan).
- Academy of Better Careers — Spokesman Wendell Craig pitches a program for people to find jobs as stand-by operators.
- Action Cats — A parody of action-figure toys featuring plastic armor and weapons for live cats.
- Adobe – A car that is very affordable (sticker price: $179) but very unsafe, as it is made entirely of clay and "combines German engineering and Mexican know-how!"
- AdoptJohn Belushi for Christmas — Candice Bergen sells people on letting John Belushi stay at their place for the holidays.
- Airbnb — Natalie (Chloe Fineman) enjoys offering her home to guests through the lodging service… although she laments sharing it with European guest Oolie (also Fineman), whose one-night stay has been extended due to the COVID-19 pandemic quarantine, resulting in Natalie being subjected to Oolie's discourteous manners (e.g. washing dishes with a garden hose, doing yoga topless in the front yard).
- The Al Pacino Accused Murderer Biopic Series — Fresh off playing Phil Spector in a biopic for the network, and three years after he played Dr. Jack Kevorkian in another film, HBO calls again on Al Pacino (Bill Hader) to play several other famous figures accused of murder, including Ted Kaczynski, Amanda Knox, the Menendez brothers, the captain of the Costa Concordia, Oscar Pistorius, and Michael Jackson's doctor Conrad Murray.
- Al Sharpton's Casa De Sushi — Analogous to Donald Trump's House of Wings and Derek Jeter's Taco Hole, Sharpton (as himself) opens a Japanese restaurant… even though Sharpton himself hates the food and only admits to opening the restaurant so he can pay for his political campaign.
- Almost Pizza — It may look and smell like pizza, but it's not quite pizza, as proven by its molecular instability (it gets hotter when removed from the oven, shatters like glass, then regroups and crawls on the floor).
- AM Ale – An alcoholic beverage for the morning because "you can't wait 'til afternoon".
- Amazin' Lazer — A consumer grade laser gun used for cleaning up yard waste or (as onscreen superimpositions discourage) dangerous and potentially criminal acts.
- The Amazing Alexander – A 1986 ad promotes a Broadway theatre performance by a popular stage hypnotist (portrayed in performance still shots by Jon Lovitz). Audience members in the ad give the show unanimous praise—the same praise, in fact, delivered in a hypnotic trance ("I loved it. It was much better than CATS. I'm going to see it again and again.").
- Amazon — Husbands and kids can buy typical Mother's Day gifts (e.g. bed and bath items, a new washing machine) on the website… but moms use it to buy vibrating massagers (which one daughter mistakes for a microphone) or the best-selling novel Fifty Shades of Grey (in hard-copy or, so the husband doesn't have to know she's reading it, on Kindle).
- Amazon Echo Silver - A smart speaker device designed for elderly users: It speaks very loudly, responds to anything remotely resembling "Alexa," mutters "Uh-huh" during long, rambling stories, etc.
- AMC Theatres — The theater chain partners with Vin Diesel (Beck Bennett) to promote their showing of his upcoming F9 in this ad that closed out Season 46. Diesel, however, talks up the little minutae ("The tickets. the sticky floors. that hand-dryer in the bathroom that's louder than a choo-choo train") that makes going to "the mooovies" so great.
- American Cancer Society – This PSA from Season 6 has spokeswoman Gail Matthius promising to honestly and openly discuss breast cancer and perform a self-exam, a promise broken when she discusses the exam in euphemisms and her chest is covered by a censor bar.
- American Dope Growers Union – Laraine Newman (and several SNL castmembers and writers) support American-grown marijuana and the farmers who grow it.
- American Express — This 2015 parody of the credit card's celebrity-driven ad campaign features episode host Chris Hemsworth recalling how people said he was too tall, too blonde, and too muscular to make it in show business. But, as he concludes, "if a jacked Australian with a perfect face can make it, anyone can."
- American Taser – A series of people demonstrate the latest models of tasers by shocking each other. It begins a pitchman (Chris Parnell), followed by a police officer (Jason Sudeikis), a second pitchman (Darrell Hammond), a sexual predator (Seth Meyers), a feminist businesswoman (Amy Poehler), an angry wife (Rachel Dratch), the angry wife's husband (Will Forte), a black man (Kenan Thompson), a racist nightwatchman (Bill Hader), a militant black man (Finesse Mitchell), a Star Trek geek (Andy Samberg), and ends with the manufacturer's president (episode host Jason Lee) who shocks himself.
- America's Turning Gay – A parody of uplifting ad campaigns for 7 Up ("America's Turning 7-Up") and Dr. Pepper ("Be a Pepper") where small-town residents celebrate the sudden realization that they're homosexual.
- America's Worst Moments – Spokesman Chris Parnell pitches a commemorative plate collection featuring America's most shocking and embarrassing moments in politics and pop culture.
- …and More — Tina-Tina Chenuse (Jenny Slate) promotes her stores that stock personalized novelties. The skits have 3 elements: Tina-Tina introducing herself, "Hi-lo, I'm Tina-Tina Chenuse"; the store names always end with "and More" (e.g. "Car Horns and More"); and Tina-Tina exclaiming "Oh, my God" somewhere in the sketch.
- And So This Is Hanukkah – A promo for A celebrity-packed Hanukkah special featuring entertainers who know very little about the holiday.
- Angora Bouquet — A tranquilizer-laced facial cleanser that "washes your brain as well as your face".
- Angry Dog — Dog food with "synthetic testosterone and seven psychoactive drugs" (and a picture of Michael Vick on the package) that turns any dog ferocious.
- Annuale — Medicine that keeps women on a constant stream of hormones, allowing them only one period per year. And when that period comes, the user can become violent (Tina Fey wields an ax in the office), aggressive (Amy Poehler kicks her husband in the groin), hungry (Casey Wilson shovels an entire birthday cake down her mouth at a child's party), and sexually frustrated (Kristen Wiig French kisses her dog).
- The Apocalypse — "The people who brought you Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve" apply the same themes of those films (romantic comedy, holiday setting, all-star ensemble cast) to the world's end. This trailer's tagline: "It's love… at last sight."
- Aron's List — an online service that's similar to Angie's List but charges a lower fee, thanks to its roster of plumbers, carpenters, etc. who are on the "American Registry of Non-Violent Sex-Offenders" (what the site's "Aron" acronym stands for).
- Asian-American Doll — A Barbie advertisement parody featuring an Asian-American doll who has to be as bland as possible due to political correctness (until the announcer realizes that selling an Asian-American doll with a dog and a chef's hat touches on the stereotype of Asians eating dogs).
- Ass Angel Perfume Jeans — Women can both look and smell great in these jeans that mask "secret little lady scents" with aromas of lavender, rose, and industrial chemicals ("do not wear these jeans if you have kidney or liver problems… consult your doctor before purchasing"). Set in a 1980s music video style, this Season 46 ad features episode host Adele, returning SNL alum Maya Rudolph, and feather-haired rocker Beck Bennett (♪♫ "She's got the ass of an angel/I wanna smell it some more" ♪♫).
- Ass Don't Smell — personal hygiene spray intended to keep one's buttocks smelling fresh and clean; a parody of feminine hygiene deodorant sprays.
- Autoscent — just as air fresheners deodorize the home, this product does the same for an automobile's internal combustion system; just spray it into the carburetor every 800 miles, and your car's exhaust will smell like lilacs or pine forests.
- Autumn Fizz — "The Carbonated Douche" that "brings out the natural fragrance of femininity, with the effervescence of uncola."
- Autumn's Eve Pumpkin Spice Douche — from the makers of Summer's Eve comes a feminine hygiene product that has the bold, spicy scent of fall.
- Aw Nuts! Mom's a Ghost! — A promo for a new Disney Channel show centered on a family with a peculiar mom (episode host Kristen Wiig): After taking a lover on a business trip to South Korea, only to have him drown her to keep their affair a secret, she returns as a "Korean water ghost" to mother her two kids and terrorize the neighborhood, K-horror style.
- Baba Wawa Talks to Herself — TV special promo where Baba Wawa (Gilda Radner) interviews herself.
- Baby Spanx — Ashamed of having a chubby baby? This elasticized shapewear can smooth out any infant's unsightly fat. As spokesman Jason Sudeikis states, "I would never spank a baby, but I sure as hell would SPANX one!"
- Bad Idea Jeans — a commercial featuring scenes of people discussing what can be considered "bad ideas" (for example, "Normally I wear protection, but then I thought, 'When am I gonna make it back to Haiti?'"). After each scene, white text on a black background reads "BAD IDEA". Each scene also zooms in on each person wearing said jeans.
- Bad Seed — a venomous, near-hysterical Nancy Reagan (Terry Sweeney) debunks rumors that her daughter Patti's novel, Home Front, is based on real-life, and pitches her own book that she co-wrote with Stephen King.
- Balz-Off — a medication that makes men more sensitive to women by killing off their testosterone levels.
- Banshee — NBC staff announcer Ed Herlihy pitches this collection of audio speakers that serve in your place when you can't (or don't want to) attend a funeral. The closing tag line: "First in Last Respects."
- Barkley's Bank — Former NBA player Charles Barkley has opened a bank in which he takes people's money and gambles with it in the hopes of either doubling their money or losing it all.
- Bartenson's Grocery Store — Kathy and Suzanna-Anne-Helen (Kate McKinnon and Aidy Bryant) promote the items shoppers in fear of the COVID-19 pandemic bypass in favor of traditional staple foods, including "fluoride bananas," "Mint Pringles," and a "Make Your Own BBQ Kit" (a 400-pound hog, sauce, and a knife). For those shopping online, the store's website also offers replacement suggestions such as salsa for pasta sauce and a DVD of Van Helsing for toilet paper. An ad airing as part of SNL's second-ever "at home" episode in April 2020.
- Bathroom Businessman — This advert starts off as a promo for a fully functional portable office (computer monitors and all) that businessman Kenan Thompson can set up in a public toilet, giving a dual meaning to "doing business." It takes a turn, however, when Thompson finds he can't "do business" because the desk setup has blocked his path to the toilet… and the ad becomes "a public service announcement for Decency," warning viewers to stop checking work texts and e-mails on the toilet ("Nothing's that important… and it's disgusting").
- Bathroom Monkey — housewife Janeane Garofalo uses a disposable simian slave that keeps your bathroom clean.
- Be My Quaran-Tine — Nick (Alex Moffat) hasn't had time to find that special someone… until he self-isolates during the COVID-19 pandemic and finds someone who shares the same interests, thoughts, etc. as he does — that person being himself. This digital-exclusive movie trailer, promoting "the best coronavirus rom-com of all time," was filmed during SNL's "at home" period in Spring 2020.
- Berkeley Collection (Up Against The Wallpaper) — Jerry Rubin sells wallpaper with popular protest slogans from the 1960s and 1970s, from angry, anti-establishment protests to slogans of peace and love.
- The Best of T.T. and Mario — a CD collection featuring the raunchy song stylings of a 1970s-era Peaches-and-Herb-type singing duo (Maya Rudolph and Kenan Thompson).
- Beta Force — Testosterone supplements meant to give men vitality can at times work too well, turning them into overtly aggressive alpha males (especially in bed). Luckily, this supplement is a counter-agent that turns men into their paunchy, mild-mannered middle-aged selves once again.
- The Beygency — A 2014 film trailer in which episode host Andrew Garfield goes on the run from mysterious, Adjustment Bureau-style agents, all because he "turned against his country" and professed to not entirely being a fan of Beyoncé's music (in particular "Drunk in Love"). 24 alumns Kiefer Sutherland and Mary Lynn Rajskub have cameo appearances.
- Bierhoff House of German Coats — Two German entrepreneurs (Fred Armisen and episode host Ben Affleck) sell bright orange winter coats to German tourists vacationing in New York City.
- Big Brawn Feminine Napkins — Parodying Brawny paper towels (with a jingle set to the tune of "Big Bad John"), this ad shows giant lumberjack Will Ferrell turning pulp from wood into a super-absorbent (albeit rough-looking) menstruation pad. The ad is capped by Big Brawn literally tearing the roof from normal-sized Molly Shannon's house to deliver her the product.
- Big Red — A toy Viking figure, complete with stereotypical horned Viking helmet, that spins around and sprays red liquid from its horns. The liquid is revealed to be hazardous, as evidenced by the thick utility gloves included to clean up the resulting mess. Made by Bleego, a parody of Mego. An absurdist parody of water sprinkler-type toys.
- Bio-Flex – a parody of exercise equipment commercials where Will Ferrell is attacked by a half-man/half-monkey creature, which is considered a workout.
- Bird Bible — "Your family will never be bored by scriptures again" thanks to this kid-oriented pictorial version of the Bible, promoted in a March 2014 ad, that substitutes human figures with images of birds (e.g. a haloed hatching emerges from its egg to depict Jesus's birth).
- The Bitchslap Method – an infomercial promotes a self-help video course that teaches troubled married couples to bitch-slap their spouses into submission.
- Black Widow: Age of Me — Acknowledging criticism for giving female superhero characters the short shrift, Marvel Studios reciprocates with this Season 40 film trailer centered around Black Widow (episode host Scarlett Johansson, reprising her role from the MCU). But rather than a traditional superhero film, it's a romantic comedy that finds Black Widow in the big city, where she works for a fashion magazine, deals with a Miranda Priestly-like boss (played by Kate McKinnon), and falls quickly into romance with supervillan Ultron.
- Bladdivan — A prescription medication (combining powerful drugs, a powerful diuretic, and anti-anxiety medications) that treats cases of "shy bladder syndrome" in men; side effects include "peeing yourself… and not really caring that you peed yourself."
- Blaine Hotel — Part of an early running gag on Weekend Update, this ad bumper has Don Pardo announcing that guests of SNL stay at the Blaine Hotel, but is usually preceded by Update reports of serious incidents (e.g. murder, virus outbreak) taking place at the Blaine.
- Blue River Dog Food — Cindy and Pat (Cecily Strong and episode host Seth Rogen) offer a testimonial for this dog food, but it takes an abrupt turn when Cindy lashes out at the lack of integrity of their previous brand (i.e. it had a chicken on its packaging but only offered "trace amounts of chicken").
- Bok Bok's — A March 2019 ad for a chicken restaurant that insists that its "human-bird hybrid" mascot, Bok Bok (Kate McKinnon), is not "Momo" in a chicken suit and is "not tempting children with chicken to steal their souls" (alluding to the social media hoax).
- Boop-It — A Bop It-like memory game that's fun for kids of all ages — including victoria f bachelor fake boobs dad Beck Bennett, whose obsession of mastering the flashing toy's honks and turns takes the fun out of time with his children.
- Booty Bidness — Rapper Ludacris (as himself) pitches a new line of women's businesswear with racy phrases on them, such as "Porn Star", "Bi-Curious", "Tasty" (written on the rear end of a skirt), and "Nympho".
- Bosley – The hair transplant service offers a new procedure that borrows hair from the pubic region (or "mezzanine" as spokesman Jason Sudeikis refers to it); the result is a corse and curly patch of new locks on a head that had previously been bald or thin-haired.
- Brad Pitt — Taran Killam parodies Pitt's rambling 2012 pitch work for Chanel No. 5 with this quartet of ads including:
- A straight-up parody of the Chanel ad, with Killan's Pitt obliging the director's request to sound less coherent by making up words ("Splindiferous," "Pintalicious").
- Taco Bell, and how their Doritos Taco Loco is "a great way to make a quick meal when you have between 8 and 20 children."
- Franklin's Dog Condoms ("Let your dog keep his balls")
- Jonathan Zizmor, referring to the tattoo removal specialist as "The Subway Doctor" for his ubiquitous advertising on New York City's subway system.
- Bravo — The reality-heavy TV network adds more unscripted drama, each having a tenuous cast connection with the show mentioned before it, among them The Moroccans of Mulholland Drive (centered on a Morocco-born dentist with a celebrity client list), A Coppola Coconuts (featuring two granddaughters of Francis Ford Coppola), and the self-explanatory The Real Houseplants of Beverly Hills.
- Brew Dude – a hat that dispenses beer for the college student who would rather party than study.
- Broadview Security – a parody of the actual Broadview Security commercials that infer that women living alone in large houses are the most likely to be victimized by any man she meets (including male family members, androgynous singer k.d. lang, and two kids using a trenchcoat posing as an adult).
- Broderick & Ganz — An ad for a team of personal injury lawyers, with happy clients praising the work of the skilled Broderick (Kate McKinnon) and one disgruntled client (episode host Aziz Ansari) disappointed over his representation by the incompetent Ganz (Bobby Moynihan).
- Brogaine — A version of Rogaine designed for male college students suffering from premature hair loss caused by the stress of college life caused by such factors as "nerds", "midterms", concern over your frat dog being an alcoholic, and chanting "the n-word" in a viral video ("because no one wants to be the bald guy in the frat").
- Broken — CBS, seeking the award glory that comedy-dramasTransparent and Orange is the New Black have earned, premieres this show centered around a family of professors (portrayed by Vanessa Bayer, Cecily Strong, and episode host Tom Hanks) who are all diagnosed with depression on the same day. The show is clearly dour and dramatic, but since it's 30 minutes in length, CBS considers it a comedy and gives it the same light-hearted promotional approach as its sitcoms.
- Brutal Marriage Movie — This cut-for-time trailer from Season 47 promotes a movie documenting the overly dramatic struggles between a married couple played by "two [scene-chewing] actors who fully expect Oscars" (Heidi Gardner and episode host Rami Malek). The film comes from "the producer of Marriage Story" and "a director going through a divorce himself."
- The Bubble — This November 2016 ad promotes a proposed domed community (formerly the New York City borough of Brooklyn) with a diverse, progressive atmosphere (hybrid cars, coffee shops, used book stores, money bearing Bernie Sanders' portrait, etc.). The community is marketed toward millennials and liberals who are scared to live in America now that Donald Trumpwon the presidency, but would prefer not to leave the country.
- Buddweiser Light — a parody of the Bud Light "Bring Out Your Best" ad campaign, featuring hockey player Joe Piscopo mentally readying himself against faceoff opponent Robin Williams. Piscopo says of Williams in the voiceover, "I can't believe my wife ran away with him," which inspires Piscopo to instigate a fight as soon as the puck is dropped. The ad ends with Williams and Piscopo sitting on the ice bloodied, gap-toothed, and enjoying a couple of beers.
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer — a promo for The WB series announces that with Seinfeld leaving the air, Buffy Summers (episode host Sarah Michelle Gellar) would be moving to New York to become the "Elaine" to an un-dead Jerry, George, and Kramer, thus transforming Buffy into "A show about nothing… and vampires!"
- Bug-Off – Will Ferrell appears in this parody sketch of Roach Motels. Rather than simply killing a cockroach, this bug trap painfully tortures them and "gives them a lot to think about". The trap supposedly creates a signal that encourages the cockroach to enter, then adhesive glue holds the bug fast (much like a rat trap). Then, three tweezers stretch the legs in opposite directions til they snap off. Then a white-hot metal coil comes down and burns off the bug's reproductive glands of as well as making a sizable hole. Then the bug is beat senseless by its own dismembered legs. Finally, two pieces of cotton stuffed into the cockroach's orifices as food is dangled in front of it. Two kids are seen peering gleefully through a patented "viewing window".
- Buh-Weet Sings – All grown up, Buckwheat (Eddie Murphy) from the Our Gang/Little Rascals films has recorded a compilation of songs sung in his own and very personal style, such as "Fee Tines a Mady", "Una Panoonah Banka", "Wookin' Pa Nub" and, in a dedication to his friend Alfalfa, "Barbah ob Dabill".
- Bunny Business Soundtrack — Ahead of the release of an animated motion picture about "a couple of bunnies with a lot of ambition," its accompanying soundtrack is promoted in this Season 35 ad. The album features songs by the likes of Randy Newman (Fred Armisen), Natalie Merchant (Kristen Wiig), and Shakira (episode host Taylor Swift).
- Burger Master – a fast food restaurant where people can get their burgers done any way they want—no matter how weird or disgusting the request may be.
- C.E.O Dreamboats – a magazine with famous businessmen as objects of desire for teenyboppers.
- Calvin Klein Cream Pies – in a parody of Andie MacDowell-starred Calvin Klein Jeans commercials, Julia Louis-Dreyfus portrays MacDowell as an annoying model who gets hit in the face with a custard pie after one of her shallow, rambling stories.
- Calvin Klein Jeans – A plus-sized Elizabeth Taylor (Joan Rivers) models CK Jeans, rambles on about her movie career, and snacks on some nearby food in this parody.
- Calvin Klein Underwear — CK spokesperson Justin Bieber (Kate McKinnon) appears in a trio of 2015 ads; though Justin says, "I'm a big boy now", he behaves immaturely, poses and preens for the camera, and leaves fellow model Lara Stone (Cecily Strong) unimpressed.
- Camel Tame — When placed "between your clothes and your business," this insert helps prevent the unsightly showing of a woman's camel toe… but resembles a male bulge as a result.
- Canis Cologne for Dogs — parody of a Calvin Klein fragrance ad.
- Caribbean Essence Bath Oil – foaming, scented bath enhancer that causes a West Indian man (Tracy Morgan) to pop up during the bath and carry his bathers across a beach.
- Carl Weathers for Governor – Following in the footsteps of his Predator co-stars Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Carl Weathers promotes himself to be the next governor in any state that will take him.
- The Chad & Mrs. Douglas Show Holiday DVD — Chad and Victoria Douglas (Taran Killam and Vanessa Bayer) promote a Time Life DVD collection of Christmas musical performances from their 1970s TV variety series, which feature guest performers who were clearly imbibing on drug & drink vices of the era.
- Carter 'N Sons BBQ – A commercial for a barbecue pork restaurant produced personal loan through bank 2002 but airing in 2009, augmented with disclaimers stating that the restaurant's "Swine Fever" marketing tagline is in no way connected to the then-recent swine flu (H1N1 virus) pandemic.
- Cartier Fidget Spinner — A 14-carat-gold, diamond-encrusted fidget spinner for the woman who is glamorous yet easily distracted.
- Celtic Woman — It's "the cultural event your godmother described as perfection," as the Irish singing group (Aidy Bryant, Kate McKinnon, Cecily Strong, and episode host Anya Taylor-Joy) hits the road for a Summer 2021 tour of the U.S. Hear them sing deep-cut and loosely original songs, along with a random assortment of non-Gaelic tunes American audiences kinda want to hear (e.g. "Sweet Home Alabama").
- Chalmers Reserve Event Wine — Trett and Leezan Chalmers (Kenan Thompson and Cecily Strong), former stars of the reality TV show The Nastiest Summer Renters of Sag Harbor, introduce their fine wine that's 72% grain alcohol and costs only $1 a bottle. Why the low price? An Italian couple (Kyle Mooney and episode host Emma Stone) who makes the wine reveals its ingredient list: Twigs, yellow corn, and moldy grapes that didn't make the cut for better wines ("We think it's for the dogs").
- The Chameleon XLE – a luxury car on the inside, a dilapidated wreck on the outside — but all the better to deter the high risk of theft that accompanies luxury cars. The car features a simulated transmission fluid leak, mismatched hubcaps (and one exposed wheel painted school bus yellow), coat hanger antenna… and a supple leather-and-wood interior.
- Chantix — Two parodies for the prescription medication used to treat nicotine addiction and its advertising that uses "real people [with] real stories":
- The first, from 2012, lists mental side effects that are worse than nicotine addiction itself, which user Kristen Wiig slowly discovers she has, much to husband Bill Hader's consternation (e.g. "If you notice changes in behavior such as a powerful, overwhelming desire to kill the person you love most, call your doctor right away.").
- The second ad, from 2018, emphasizes that Chantix user Kelly (Cecily Strong) is not an actress… although she's quick to correct that she once was, and spends the rest of the ad less praising Chantix and more resurrecting her long-dormant acting skills.
- cheapkids.net – a website dedicated to the sale of shoddy items for babies and toddlers for irresponsible parents.
- Cheques — While sending money can be as routine as clicking on a smart phone app, a check provides a noir-flavored air when paying your daughter's boyfriend (so she'll never see him again), your maid (so she forgets about what she saw in the gazebo), or your poison supplier ("Just one sip, and I become head of the board").
- Cherry Grove — Logo pairs its upcoming reality show Fire Island with this companion series focusing on a group of affluent lesbians who, unlike the hard-partying gay men of Fire Island one beach over, get no raunchier than sharing a fondness for dinner, wine, song, jigsaw puzzles, and water birth.
- Chess for Girls! – a parody of the marketing of children's toys based on gender, this chess set (unrelated to the chess game in general) features pieces with Barbie doll-style bodies and chess piece heads, an accompanying dollhouse, beachwear, minivan, bubble blower, and so on. The tag line: "A classic game of strategy and wits… and bubbles!"
- Chewable Pampers – A line of Pampers diapers which contain flavor crystals that, once the diaper is soiled, turns into an edible treat.
- Chia Head – a parody of both the Chia Pet and Minoxidil; men with bald or receding hairlines use this product to give them nice green hair just like a Chia Pet. ("Not to be used in salads!")
- Chicago Improv — A promo for the latest series in producer Dick Wolf's Chicago-based TV franchise, with the city's improv comedy scene and those who populate it depicted in the same gritty, unflinching way as its firefighting and law enforcement worlds.
- Chickham Apple Farm — Just in time for the apple-picking season, Debra Chickham (Aidy Bryant), her sister (Kate McKinnon), and Hank the farmhand (episode host Woody Harrelson), promote their orchard located in "the part of New York state that has Confederate flags." Visitors can have fun at the petting zoo, haunted hayride, and, yes, the apple orchard ("For $45, you can bring home $10 worth of apples").
- Chonk — This clothing store offers fashions that let women be "gorgeous at any size"; much to the models' clear dismay, however, the store bears an uncomplimentary name. Also featured is "Lil' Chonk" for tween girls (Mom ushers her young model out of camera range), and the menswear store "Normal Clothes", where guys can make a quick trip to find clothes in their size.
- Chris Rock's White Person's Guide to Surviving The Apollo — Chris Rock, a veteran of Harlem's famed Apollo Theater, promotes his video that gives tips to aspiring white comedians and singers on how to win over Apollo's vociferously critical audiences. Siobhan Fallon and episode host Rob Morrow appear in before-and-after footage.
- Cialis for Threeways — Erectile dysfunction medication that's 50% stronger than regular Cialis "just in case that rare opportunity arises," and also includes anti-depressants ("to help you cope with the inevitable shame and regret") and Xanax (to help you make it through the argumentative fallout the next morning).
- Cialis Turnt — An ad for "the only pill that combats your erectile dysfunction while giving you that unbeatable hip-hop sensation of 'getting turnt.'" To demonstrate its effectiveness, Taran Killam and Aidy Bryant are shown dancing wildly to music similar to Lil Jon's song "Turn Down for What" that includes the exclamation "Everybody, get turnt!"
- Citizens for a Better America — Dr. Swen Gazzara (Gilbert Gottfried) proves the value of hard work in America by asking Ronald Reagan to personally give him a "humble job" (which he shortens to "hum job").
- Clear-Rite — Karen (Kristen Wiig) speaks the praises of an "invisible" teeth retainer. The twist is that the product isn't real (it's superglue), Karen isn't her real name (it's Beth), and the ad isn't an ad (Beth's just practicing her pitch work before the bathroom mirror).
- Clearasil — Appearing in SNL's recurring Sprockets skit, which parodied German pop culture, a young woman uses Clearasil (or, in a strong German accent, "Clärasil") to get rid of her pimples and impress her new boyfriend. The English word "pimples", however, is confused in the sketch with "pimplen", a strong German slang word with the same meaning as the English "fuck" (in the sexual sense). As a result, the commercial tagline ("mach das pimplen kaput") implies that Clearasil will destroy one's sex life.
- Cleveland Cavaliers — This cut-for-time team promo from Season 43 highlights "The Other Cavaliers," i.e. those who ride on the shoulders (literally) of go-to man LeBron James, including a Roomba at point guard, a golden retriever as starting center, and one player (episode host Donald Glover) who's good at rolling the ball up the court to save time on the clock.
- Closet Organizer – A man in a blue Spandex suit (Will Forte) is hired to organize anything in a closet that someone throws in.
- Clovin Hind Jeans – a parody of Calvin Klein Jeans commercials by Richard Avedon which featured numerous supermodels of the day.
- Cluckin' Chicken – a fast-food restaurant's animated mascot (voiced by Adam Sandler), when asked why he tastes so good, gleefully describes the process by which he is killed, decapitated, eviscerated, and flame-broiled… then, displaying a schematic chart, describes how he is consumed, digested, and eventually eliminated through defecation.
- CNN Pregnancy Test — just like its namesake network, this home pregnancy test delivers "relentless breaking news" alerts to a couple waiting (impatiently) to learn if they're expecting a baby.
- Coldcock Malt Liquor — Tim Meadows appears in this parody of Billy Dee Williams' pitchwork for Colt 45; with each sip from a tall can of this beverage, an animated fist arises from the can's label to whack the drinker upside the jaw. Ellen Cleghorne ("I ain't afraid of no can of beer!") and Chris Rock also appear.
- Cold Commercial- Kristen Wiig plays a woman with a cold who tries to advertise an effective cold medicine called Nasaflu, but her also sick husband, played by Will Ferrell, constantly interrupts her with his obnoxious, scream-like sneezes.
- Colon Blow — In a parody of high-fiber cereal ads (notably Total and its "how many bowls" campaign), an off-screen voice tells cereal eater Phil Hartman he will need 30,000 bowls of his usual cereal to equal the fiber content in a single bowl of Colon Blow (2.5 million to equal Super Colon Blow, which is also promoted here). When the large numbers are quoted, a pyramid of the same number of bowls elevates Hartman into the ionosphere.
- Colonel Belmont's Old Fashioned Horse Glue – Will Ferrell appears as Langford T. Belmont, a man whose family has been in the horse glue business for generations. A parody of commercials that try to appeal to old-fashioned values and tradition.
- Commode & Commode — Attorneys Denzel & Latrice Commode (Kenan Thompson and episode host Regina King) promise financial compensation for those facing hardships from using Gorilla Glue in place of beauty product, as has happened to members of the Commode family who offer testimonials. A spoof of the "Gorilla Glue Girl" story that went viral the week of this Season 46 ad.
- Complicit — a perfume specifically tailored for First Daughter Ivanka Trump (episode host Scarlett Johansson), who the voiceover positions as a glamorous yet duplicitous part of her controversial father's (Alec Baldwin) presidency. The tagline: "The fragrance for the woman who could stop all of this, but won't."
- Compulsion – A "Calvin Kleen" disinfectant, parodying Calvin Klein's Obsession perfume and featuring an obsessive compulsive spokesmodel (played by Jan Hooks).
- Cookie Dough Sport – a parody of Gatorade sports drink for athletes who are having a hard time and eat cookie dough out of stress and depression.
- Corn Chip Nail Tips – Maya Rudolph and Tracy Morgan appear in this parody of "hip" potato chip commercials, promoting corn chips that double as false fingernails.
- Corn Syrup Producers of America — In this trade group ad, Kristen Wiig inquisitively asks Nasim Pedrad about why she serves her daughter juice with high-fructose corn syrup. Pedrad responds by saying she'd rather "trust scientists" who espouse favorable data (e.g. corn syrup is natural, it's okay in moderation) than "stay-at-home mom Sheila from down the street who's having wine at 10AM" (a catty dig aimed at a speechless Wiig).
- Count Chocula Silver – Count Chocula (Jimmy Fallon) promotes a newer version of his cereal that includes ingredients that help promote regularity and good heart health along with "kooky marshmallow bats! Bwa-ah-ah-ah-ah!"
- Cracklin' Oat Flakes (Now with Ecstasy) – Will Ferrell wakes up to find that he has run out of his regular Cracklin' Oat Flakes, but his wife offers this Ecastasy-laced version. After one bowl, Ferrell creeps out his coworkers, makes out with Chris Parnell, then runs half-naked through the streets until he's seen in bed with a pacifier in his mouth and playing with a glowstick.
- Creeley's Soup – Off-screen announcer Bill Murray tries to talk a child (Gilda Radner) into exchanging the soup she's eating for various items. When she becomes annoyed ("No! Leave me alone! I'm eating!"), the announcer successfully talks her into not only stuffing corn from the soup into her nose but pouring the rest onto her nose ("Because the Soupman says so"). The product's tagline: "Creeley's Soup – The Child Handler".
- The Crests and Troughs of Vernon Hawley, Jr. – This "special TV offer" promotes a 3-record compilation from "one of country's most enduring, yet erratic, superstars" (episode host John Larroquette), whose song repertoire deals with his battles with the bottle ("I hope you remember these ol' tunes. 'cause I don't").
- Cricket Wireless — On the week when FEMA and the FCC tested their wireless alert system (one the White House would use only in a national emergency), this ad makes it appear that Donald Trump will use these "Presidential Alerts" to express the same type of opinions he shares on Twitter. Luckily for those who use Cricket, they won't receive such endless alerts at all ("Now are you happy we have awful service?").
- Cruz for Texas — Footage from a campaign rally makes up this ad for Texas SenatorTed Cruz's (Beck Bennett) 2018 re-election effort. Cruz is assisted by a "hype team" (Kenan Thompson and episode host Awkwafina), but while the pair is able to liven up the crowd, things fall apart (literally and figuratively) for Cruz after he takes the stage.
- Crystal Gravy – A parody of the clear consumer products fad of the mid-1990s, specifically Crystal Pepsi. Julia Sweeney enjoys a drumstick dipped in clear gravy straight from the jar, wells fargo home mortgage corporate headquarters phone number Kevin Nealon gleefully splashes his face in the clear, gooey liquid.
- CVS Pharmacy — For the guys who forgot to get their girlfriends something for Valentine's Day, CVS is the perfect place to find it at the last minute, be it teddy bears in bee costumes ("Bee Mine"), valentine-themed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles chocolates, or a Christmas stocking priced at an 80% markdown.
- Dad Christmas - Aidy Bryant plays a travel agent who shows two children from a divorced family (played by Pete Davidson and episode host Claire Foy) all the amenities that come with traveling to Florida to celebrate "Dad Christmas": the lighting of an indoor cigarette, their father (played by Mikey Day) introducing them to an older woman named Dierdre (played by Kate McKinnon), their father getting into Jimmy Buffett music, the lack of any kind of rules and structure, and, when they're older, the opportunity to do drugs with him. ("Dad Christmas: The Sad Part About This Is That He Really Tried Hard").
- Dallas: The Home Game – Charles Rocket pitches a home board game for dysfunctional families who can now act out their issues the same way the Ewings do on the prime time soap opera Dallas.
- Damn It, My Mom Is On Facebook — When college students learn their moms just added them as Facebook friends, they can apply this filter that bowdlerizes the wild photographs and rebellious opinions they want hidden from Mom.
- Darnette Disposable Toilet – the toilet that you throw away after only one use. It takes just as many steps to install and remove as a regular toilet and costs $169.95.
- Daveheart – A movie trailer for a Braveheart sequel focusing on William Wallace's brother and "Scotland's biggest coward," Dave Wallace (episode host Gerard Butler), one who'd rather retreat or surrender than fight with the British.
- The Day Beyoncé Turned Black — A movie trailer interpreting the reaction to the release of Beyoncé's "Formation", a song noted for its embracing of Black heritage, as an apocalyptic-style film. The trailer shows White Americans in mass hysteria over their realization that Beyoncé is Black — while Black Americans are apathetic.
- Deidra Wurtz, Downsizing Expert — If you need to break the news about staffing layoffs, divorces, or even pillaged Bosnian villages, let Deidra (Abby Elliott) deliver it in a sincere, caring, yet flighty way ("I feel really bad about it, but it is what it is") that will leave those on the receiving end appreciative and understanding.
- Dell Stator's 99-cent Toad Ranch – "Home of the World Famous Dell Stator Toad Pit and the Dell Stator Patented Broiling Method, where we can guarantee you the best 99-cent toad steak you'll ever eat!"
- Democratic National Committee — "The Dems are back!" So exclaim Nancy Pelosi (Kate McKinnon), Dianne Feinstein (Cecily Strong), a Spanish-speakingTim Kaine (Mikey Day), and other long-prominent and "new faces" (e.g. Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton) of the Democratic Party who are celebrating their state-level victories in 2017 but now turn to progressive issues and attracting "window-lickers from Ohio [and] mouth breathers from Wisconsin" who might not lean Democratic at the polls come 2018.
- Democratic Party 2018 Campaign — Progressive-leaning voters express confidence in this ad that Democratic candidates will win in the 2018 midterm elections and put the administration of Donald Trump in check… despite being visibly worried (e.g. sweaty armpits, wavering enthusiasm in their voices, drinking heavily, sudden violent behavior around friends and family, and screaming so loud that glass shatters) over the possibility of a "blue wave" not materializing. The closing tag line: "Vote! Please?"
- Democrats for Ferguson — Unlike his opponent, Terry Ferguson (Will Ferrell) is not a Washington insider; does not have interns working for him; and, because he lost his testicles in a fire 23 years earlier, does not have sex with anyone. Ergo, he's the best choice for the U.S. Senate.
- Depend Legends — Incontinent yet ashamed to wear adult diapers? You don't have to be when Depend offers a line of diapers with images of classic stars of the past (e.g. Clark Gable, Jack Paar, Mickey Mantle). The tagline: "Make History. In your pants."
- Derek Jeter's Taco Hole – Derek Jeter pitches a taco restaurant in Nutley, New Jersey, with a jingle sung to the Beach Boys song "Kokomo".
- Dianne Feinstein — After she was seen dismissing a Green New Deal proposal to combat climate change in front of a classroom full of children, the CaliforniaSenator (Cecily Strong) offers to "make things right" in this cut-for-time political ad from Season 44. However, just as before, she spends one outtake after another arguing with students, parents, and teachers (to one kid who calls her mean, she responds, "Well, your dad wishes you were bullied more; toughen you up a little bit").
- Dillon/Edwards Investments – This 1999 ad promotes a financial firm that took a slow, cautious approach to providing services on the Internet; when they were ready to do so, they took the only domain name available: "www.clownpenis.fart".
- Disco Meltdown – A Season 6 ad promotes a hip, new dance club in the reactor core of a nuclear power plant.
- Discover Card — Card user Ego Nwodim is alerted to peculiar charges on her bill (e.g. giant scissors, red jumpsuits, hundreds of rabbits). When she calls Discover's service line, she is greeted by her raspy-voiced doppelgänger. A spoof of the credit card's "We treat you like you'd treat you" campaign by way of the horror film Us.
- Disney Channel Acting School — Miley Cyrus (as herself) and Raven-Symoné (Kenan Thompson) promote a school where students train to act "the Disney way," learning techniques such as "Disrespecting Authority," "Pause Then Dis," and "Reacting To Stinky Feet."
- Dissing Your Dog – Will Ferrell sells a dog training video for passive aggressive dog owners.
- Divided We Stand — This ad promotes an Off-Broadway musical that dives head-first into the contentious American political climate, though its book, songs, and cast leave a bad impression on both critics ("Time Out New York calls it 'Dangerously oversimplified'") and audiences ("I guess the worst part of the play was their confidence in it").
- Dog Bones-n-Melodies — The 1990s hip-hop group Bone Thugs-N-Harmony (Ego Nwodim, Chris Redd, Kenan Thompson, and episode host Jonathan Majors) open a store that sells nothing but various types of bones for dogs (big bones, small bones, chicken bones, dinosaur bones, etc.). Make a purchase and the group will serenade you before you leave.
- Doggie Duty Soundtrack — A Season 37 ad analogous to the ones for the Bunny Business and Horse Play soundtracks that predate it. Here, Randy Newman (Fred Armisen), Florence Welch (episode host Katy Perry), and "the guy from Spin Doctors" (Andy Samberg) contribute tunes to a "heartwarming" animated movie about "12 puppies selected for jury duty."
- Donald Trump's House of Wings – Trump (as himself) promotes his own buffalo chicken wing restaurant that was once "a defunct Meineke muffler shop in Englewood, New Jersey." He's helped by endorser David Crosby (Horatio Sanz) and chicken-costumed employees (Seth Meyers, Kenan Thompson, Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph) who sing a jingle set to "Jump (For My Love)".
- Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford – Pitchman Chris Parnell promotes a book about money management to a clueless couple (Amy Poehler and episode host Steve Martin).
- Don' You Go Rounin' Roun to Re Ro — A film trailer for "the toughest, grittiest, most British crime drama of the year," one that appears to be about a reformed criminal (Bill Hader) who's forced back into the business. that is, if the audience can comprehend the Cockney dialects and slang.
- Dopenhagen and Happy Daze – David Carradine plays a cowboy who likes to get high on marijuana he can chew instead of smoke. Parody of Copenhagen chewing tobacco.
- Downton Abbey — At first, it appears to be a trailer for the motion picture revival of the beloved British TV series, right down to the film's premise (Downton is readied for a visit by the King and Queen). But it's peppered with unflattering quotes from critics (e.g. "Were the stakes in the show always this low?" asks A. O. Scott). The stealthy reveal at the very end: It's actually a promo for Joker, admitting that that comic book film is not perfect, "but at least stuff happens."
- Dr. Deborah Birx Scarves — Dr. Birx (Chloe Fineman), White House response coordinator during the COVID-19 pandemic, finds it frustrating that all the public pays attention to during her briefings are the scarves adorning her snb meaning. But in this digital-exclusive ad from May 2020, she leans in by creating a line of scarves, including one that literally says "Screw you, I'm a doctor," another in bird patterns (because Birx loves birds), and others made from periodic tables and actual CDC statements ("If this is the only thing you're zeroing in on while I'm talking, let's make it count").
- Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice – A parody of erectile dysfunction treatments (particularly Levitra), complete with the warning "If you experience an erection lasting longer than twenty-four hours, call up your friends and brag about it." Levitra's slogan "strong and lasting" is replaced by "thick and sturdy".
- Dr. Uncle Jimmy's Smokehouse and Outpatient Surgical Facility – A shady clinic that offers semi-professional surgery and mediocre barbecue cuisine.
- The Drew Barrymore Show — The daytime talk show gets parodied in this Season 46 promo. "After seeing what went down with Ellen," the voiceover remarks (in reference to that show's allegedly toxic work environment), "we took a hard turn in the other direction,” as evidenced by Drew (Chloe Fineman) adoring her guests, her remote audience (or "VFFs — Virtual Friends Forever!"), and especially her crew ("they say she maintains eye contact too long and is too emotionally supportive").
- Dropping the L.B.'s With Missy E – Missy Elliott (Tracy Morgan) pitches a workout video featuring her impossible-to-imitate dance moves.
- Duncan Hines Brownie Husband – a brownie treat shaped like a life-sized man, designed specifically for the single woman.
- Dunkin Donuts — An ad featuring "Actual Customers," all of whom are professional and telegenic for the camera… except for Donny (episode host Casey Affleck), who sports a thick Boston accent and a rude, uncouth disposition toward Dunkin's staff and customers.
- Duolingo for Talking to Children — Episode host Kristen Stewart uses this instructional app to have meaningful dialogues and other interactions with children.
- DynaCorp – An announcer (voice of Chris Parnell) confuses Jessica Simpson with food products similar to Chicken of the Sea-brand tuna. The ad parodies Simpson's remark on the MTV reality show Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, where she asked Nick Lachey if Chicken of the Sea was tuna or chicken.
- Dysfunctional Family Christmas — From Silver Bell Records comes this compilation of songs suitable for the holiday season, "when families get together to reopen old feelings." Sing along to such tunes as “I’ve Got My Drinking Under Control For The Holidays,” “Can’t You Let It Drop, It’s Christmas,” and “Let’s Pretend We Like Each Other (This Christmas).”
- Dyson Toilet – Parody of Dyson vacuum cleaner ads.
- E! — "Turn off your brain" with new additions to the cable channel's celebrity-driven reality schedule, including Kendall's Model House and Kendall's World, both featuring Kendall Jenner (episode host Gal Gadot), and I Hate That, with NeNe Leakes (Leslie Jones) offering withering fashion critiques.
- eBay — In this Season 46 ad, shoppers Heidi Gardner, Ego Nwodim, and Chris Redd use the e-commerce site to sell things they bought online while isolated during the COVID-19 pandemic but never bothered to use. Also promoted is a "PreBay" option that lets shoppers with second thoughts have their purchase intercepted before delivery.
- The Ed McMahon School of Laughing — For those who like to laugh, and who'd like to make money by doing so, this school trains students in the lucrative world of recording their giggles, guffaws, etc. to laugh tracks for TV sitcoms.
- Einstein Express — an express courier service that handles late-arriving packages by literally sending them back in time to the desired arrival date. The slogan: "When it absolutely, positively has to be there the day before yesterday".
- Elián, The Cuban Boy! — From the people who brought The Lion King and Aida to Broadway comes this new musical about Elián González, a 7-year-old boy who, at the time of this Season 25 promo, was at the center of an immigration and custody battle between the governments of Cuba and the United States. The cast features David Mack Wilson (Rachel Dratch) as Elián, episode host Christopher Walken as Cuban leader Fidel Castro, and a special appearance by U.S. Attorney GeneralJanet Reno (Will Ferrell) as herself.
- El Shrinko — Arthur Perkins (Andy Samberg) and his friend Randy (episode host Jesse Eisenberg) promote "the first scientific pill that can shrink your weiner… because it's TOO BIG!"
- Empire – a promo parody of the FOX television series, now including a white man named Chip (played by episode host Chris Hemsworth) who would rather run the record company as a real business instead of getting involved in the drama.
- The Englehart Five — The Germanquintet's new album has Helga Englehart (episode host Eva Longoria) and her brothers Rolf, Fritz, and Juergen (played respectively by Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, and Seth Meyers) singing songs about their brother Klaus' (Will Forte) victoria f bachelor fake boobs in a hunting accident caused by Rolf.
- Enid & Astrid's Brawr Barn — From their lingerie store located at Avenue E and Jill Zarin Blvd, Enid and Astrid (Aidy Bryant and episode host Anya Taylor-Joy) offer such made-in-store bras as "The Fortress" ("goes so high, it's a turtleneck") and "The Load-Bearing Wall" (made with miniature 2x4s), as well as straight-talk recommendations to customers seeking a flattering bra.
- Epoxy-Dent — A 1978 ad for "the strongest denture cream permitted by law". To prove its strength, a user bites down on a wood bar, which is lifted by a helicopter ("The Epoxy-Dent Chopper Test!").
- EPT Home Pregnancy Test — A parody of EPT's campaign that features real-life couples using the product to see if they're having a baby. Here, a man and woman (Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler) await the results of the test — and nervously so, as they're really two college students who had a one-night stand two weeks earlier.
- Estro-maxx — Going through a male-to-female sex change is easier with Estro-maxx, a once-a-day pill that gives you all the hormones you need. Caused minor controversy for its depictions of male-to-female transsexuals.
- Eterna-Rest — Casket mattresses that adjust as your loved one's skeletal remains decompose, assuring them a peaceful eternal rest.
- Eych! — "It's the only hairball remover that cats ask for by name." A spoof of Meow Mix, but instead the cats cough in an exceedingly funny manner.
- Excedrin RT — Episode host Queen Latifah plays a businesswoman who takes this pain reliever to combat "racial tension" headaches (the "RT" in the product name) brought on by interns asking questions about the stereotypical behavior of black people.
- Exclusive Connections — Episode host Paris Hilton promotes a sex chat line catering to nerds who are interested in science fiction and fantasy movies.
- EZ Date — Parody of eHarmony and other matchmaking websites. All of the matches are alluded to be between prostitute and client.
- FX-70 Cheese Slicer – Candice Bergen pitches a Polaroid camera that dispenses cheese slices.
- Farrow & Ball — This ad starts out with Aidy Bryant telling her brother and his wife (Beck Bennett and episode host Kristen Stewart) how she used this premium paint, imported from Great Britain, to make her living room pop with vivid color (or "co-LOOUR" as Bryant pronounces the Oxford English Dictionary spelling). But it gradually turns into a raising of familial issues: How Bryant has been running through her share of the family's inheritance (buying paint at $110/gallon), who she's been hooking up with (some shirtless guy she found on Facebook Marketplace), and the parentage of Bennett and Stewart's baby.
- The Fault in Our Stars 2: The Ebola in Our Everything — A trailer for a sequel to the 2014 film about two teens with cancer who fall in love, only here Olive (episode host Sarah Silverman) has the Ebola virus, which severely tampers paramour Theodore's (Taran Killam) attraction to her.
- Fashion Coward — A clothing store tailored for women with a fragile self-image, offering items (e.g. brown sweaters, gray sweatshirts, no bathing suits) that suggest "the general idea of a person" (e.g. "ideal juror," "goes on cruises with parents"). Store features also help alleviate the trauma of clothes shopping, including faraway mirrors, quick-burning clothes (for those unsure about wearing it), and knock-out gas if a customer spends more than 30 seconds in the dressing room (a big, strong bodyguard will finish the shopping for the unconscious customer).
- Father-Son Podcasting Microphone - A dual microphone that helps fathers bond with their teenage sons as if they're doing a podcast together.
- Fear Factor, Jr. – A season 29 promo for a youth version of the NBC reality show, with Joe Rogan (Fred Armisen) coercing children to perform dangerous and disgusting stunts just as he does with adults on the regular Fear Factor. For example, one kid will have to watch his parents (including an early cameo by Season 30 cast member Rob Riggle) divorce if he can't eat a plate of maggot-ridden eggs Benedict.
- Federline – Kevin Federline (Ashton Kutcher) pitches his new line of underwear to extricate himself from the shadow of his wife Britney Spears; shot in black-and-white, similar in style to early Calvin Klein commercials.
- Felina Cat Food – In a parody of onsite supermarket taste-test commercials, a TV pitchman dupes a housewife into eating tuna casserole made from cat food.
- Firelight — A Season 35 movie trailer spoofing The Twilight Saga, only instead of a vampire, high schooler Stella Swan (episode host Taylor Swift) falls for a Frankenstein-type monster (Bill Hader).
- First CityWide Change Bank – Two ads promote a financial institution whose only service is providing change (e.g. "you come to us with 16 quarters, 8 dimes, and 4 nickels, we can give you a 5 dollar bill"). How does First CityWide make money doing this? As one service rep says it, "The answer is simple: Volume".
- Flaritin — "The fake Claritin for fake allergies"
- Flex – deodorant laced with steroids that provokes its users to behave like animals.
- Food Dudes - For lonely men who fear being judged unfavorably when they order too much food, this trio of animatronic mannequins serve as the "friends" who hang out first mid illinois bank and trust altamont il share the pizza, chicken wings, etc.
- Fresh Squeezed Baseball — Episode host Bob Uecker starts his day off right with juice freshly pureed (seams and all) from baseballs.
- Frozen II: Disney's DVD of the sequel to Frozen includes deleted storylines with shoehorned diversity, from Elsa (Kate McKinnon) coming out as a lesbian to a Black member of the palace guard (Kenan Thompson).
- Frozen Mexican Dinner – Musician Paul Brittain is not feeling well during his band's recording session, claiming constipation. Luckily, bandmate Fred Armisen offers this frozen food product with medicine designed to counter constipation ("you eat it, and ay ay ay!"). Also available in Indian and fish varieties.
- The Fruiting – a movie trailer spoof for a horror flick where citrus fruits attack a family living in a haunted mansion.
- G.O.B. Tampons — Vanessa Bayer promotes "the one brand of tampon created by the people who know women's bodies best: the gentlemen of the Republican Party."
- The Game of Life: DACA Edition — from April 2018, this topical variation on the classic board game forces players who pull a "dreamer" card to take an alternative path where they must "work three jobs," dodge ICE agents, and face bureaucratic hoops. The simulation of, and references to, real-life clearly drains one player's (Melissa Villaseñor) enjoyment in the game.
- Gandhi and the Bandit – A movie trailer spoofing Smokey and the Bandit, with law enforcement chasing a speeding 18-wheeler driven by Mahatma Gandhi (Tim Kazurinsky).
- Gangsta Bitch Barbie – new Barbie doll perpetuates stereotypes of black people living in the ghetto (the doll comes with Jolly Ranchers, a pack of Newports, and a restraining order against her boyfriend, Tupac Ken). Parodies use of hip hop culture in advertisement.
- Galactic Prophylactic – Excited pitchman Eddie Murphy promotes Ron Popeil-produced male prophylactics constructed with a steel core for extra victoria f bachelor fake boobs. Also promoted is the Dura-Fram Diaphragm for women.
- Gap — The clothing retailer, its celebrity-driven "This is Easy" campaign, and the Clinton–Lewinsky scandal are parodied in three separate ads from the 24th season premiere that feature three notable figures in the scandal rocking out while casually dressed:
- Gary Busey Motorcycle Helmet – following his near-fatal motorcycle crash (in which he wasn't wearing a helmet), this clip features Gary Busey (Phil Hartman) endorsing a new line of protective headgear. On top of the helmet is an enormous foam rubber "helmet protector" with a "helmet protector protector" also mentioned (but too large to be shown).
- Gary Hart for President Committee — this sensually-shot ad finds a scorned woman (Jan Hooks) fighting in vain to put Gary Hart behind her, but Hart is there to remind her (and voters) that "you can't get him out of your mind," no matter what he may have done (an allusion to the allegations of extramarital affairs that plagued the charismatic Hart's campaign for U.S. president in the late 1980s).
- Gas Right – Inventor Bruce Johnson (Fred Armisen) modifies his Breathe-Right nasal strips to a larger size that expands the buttocks and prevents nighttime flatulence noises.
- Gaystrogen – a parody of the Estrovenhormone drug; for men over 45 suffering from "queer loss".
- GE Big Boy Appliances — In contrast to the 1950s, women are now considered the prize-winners of the house who go out and work while the men are more likely to stay home and care for the family. But stay-at-home husbands (like episode host Jason Momoa) can still keep the house clean with such appliances as a dishwasher with a 70-pound steel door, a washing machine 6 feet in height, and a 240-horsepower riding lawnmower-like vacuum cleaner with a stain remover that looks and acts like a jackhammer.
- GEICO — "Eric Butler (Andy Samberg) is a real GEICO customer, not a celebrity," so Whitney Houston (Maya Rudolph) is called on to help tell his accident claim story in this parody of the insurance company's celebrities-and-customers campaign from the mid-2000s.
- Geritech — "If you think I'm embarrassed endorsing the Geritech line of products, you just don't know me." So says straight-faced episode host Leslie Nielsen at the end of this ad where endorses:
- Blotch-Off, the liver spot remover that "works while you sleep."
- Dripmaster, an undergarment for those with bladder control problems ("In fact, I'm relieving myself [brief pause] right now!").
- Bung-King, "the only hemmorhoidal cream and suppository with my face on it."
- Solidex, the diarrhea relief formula that's "always in my medicine cabient, and in my make-up kit."
- Gidget Goes to Shock Therapy — This ad features three grown women acting like little girls, the result of "Gidget's Disease," a condition psychiatristJane Curtin says makes them "terminally cute… too cute for their own good." The only cure is a form of "pointless can i use rooms to go credit card anywhere canal" in "The Dental Theater of Cruelty."
- Girls — From Season 39, this promo for the HBO comedy finds Hannah, Marnie, Jessa, and Shoshanna welcoming someone new to their circle of friendship — Blerta (episode host Tina Fey), an impoverished Albanian immigrant who doesn't entirely sympathize with the girls' issues.
- Girls Gone Wild: Katrina — Doug Stanhope (Jason Sudeikis) travels to a flooded post-Hurricane KatrinaNew Orleans and offers women fresh water and clothing in exchange for their flashing their breasts and "going wild" for the camera.
- Giuliani & Associates — Timely yet cut for time from an October 2019 episode, this ad finds Donald Trump's personal attorney, Rudolph Giuliani (Kate McKinnon), promoting his services for those in serious legal trouble (for serious crimes they committed) and promising to make things worse. Appearing in testimonials are two clients who claim they're American but have suspicious accents; "Yankees legend" Bernie Williams (Kenan Thompson), who bails from his endorsement after sensing something's up; and Giuliani associates Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman (Beck Bennett and episode host David Harbour, respectively), who, after their arrests that week, surfaced as notable figures in the Trump–Ukraine scandal.
- Give Us All Our Daughters Back — In this Season 38 film trailer, a kidnapping incident at a CIA daycare center forces several action film stars to assemble… and do nothing more than spend half the film making threatening phone calls and the other half shooting the breeze.
- Glitter Litter Automatic Litter Factory — This cut-for-time ad from 2018 promotes a cat litter box that turns Fluffy's droppings into stunning gold and silver jewelry.
- Googie Rene's — In two ads, Googie (Kenan Thompson) promotes his seasonal discount clothing shops where you can save big on clothes with obvious imperfections including:
- Googie Rene's Partially Damaged Halloween Costume Discount Basement, whose costumes are so stained and torn you need props to hide the imperfections (and everything carries suspicious odors).
- Googie Rene's Slightly Damaged Prom Wear Barn, featuring dresses with grass stains on the backside and tuxedos with meatball stains on the front (the previous wearer fell asleep in a plate of spaghetti).
- The Goombahs — Cashing in on the success of HBO's The Sopranos, Showtime creates its own show about a commonplace Italian-American family. The promo's tagline: "Television at its finest. And its most Italian."
- GoProbe — A trio of extreme athletes (Taran Killam, Kyle Mooney, and Beck Bennett) promote this special version of the GoPro camera designed for use by doctors in colonoscopy exams.
- Gossip Girl: Staten Island — "For those who like the intrigue of Gossip Girl but hate the sophistication of Manhattan," The CW promotes this offshoot centered around the salacious exploits of Chandelier Martini (episode host, and Gossip Girl castmember, Blake Lively) and other heavily accented denizens of Staten Island.
- Go-Techs Flex with ThumbPulse — An (intentionally) amateurish infomercial spoof promoting a home exercise machine with fingertip pulse monitors that make it hard to operate the device in the first place. Episode host Channing Tatum is the feather-haired pitchman pushing bubbly Winona (Kristin Wiig) to the max, despite her getting tangled in the monitor wires.
- GP Yass — Liven up your long trip by adding this mode to your GPS navigation device that uses a drag performer's voice (and attitude) to deliver directions.
- Grable and Lombard — A movie trailer spoof about the lesbian wedding of Betty Grable and Carole Lombard.
- Grady Wilson DVDs — Grady Wilson (Kenan Thompson) promotes two DVDs that teach married couples his best sexual moves, all bizarre yet humorously demonstrated by Grady and his assistants in what appears to be his garage. The DVDs include:
- Grady Wilson's Burning Up the Sheets, in which Grady and Amber (episode host Megan Fox) perform moves such as "The Striking 12" and "The Skydiver."
- Grady Wilson's Fifty & Freaky, with Grady and "Marta from Amsterdam" (episode host Sigourney Weaver) demonstrating "The Sun Is In My Eyes," "The Old TV" ("Any picture yet?"), and other techniques for couples over 50.
- Graffiti: Say No – New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani cracks down on graffiti artists defacing the city by adding insults next to their handiwork.
- Grayson Moorhead Securities – Four ads, ten years apart, lampoon the tradition of competence and trustworthiness that brokerage companies commonly project.
- The first two, from 1995, feature vintage film of founder Arthur Grayson (Jim Downey) dictating his company's "basic principles," including keeping a list of clients in a safe, secure place; project an air of listening to clients (even if they're not paying attention to them); and investing only in white-owned business ("Not all of Arthur Grayson's principles are followed today," the announcer advises).
- The second pair, from 2005, feature a present-day Grayson talking about his company's knack for investing in companies that either go bankrupt or are revealed to be unscrupulous (the tagline: "Losing our clients’ money with dignity and pride since 1926").
- Green & Fazio — Attorney Barry Green (Phil Hartman) and his firm specialize in personal injury cases including phantom whiplash, near-collision stress, trauma suffered by accident bystanders, and pain suffered while committing burglary, not to mention harassing defendants to settle.
- Grimaldi's Classic Creations — Nativity scene figurines including a Baby Jesus that, thanks to a sound microchip, screams 24 hours a day from Christmas Day to Three Kings Day (January 6), much to the consternation of mom Nancy Walls, dad David Koechner, and the family.
- Grouch — From DC Films and "the twisted minds at Sesame Workshop" comes this Joker-like origin story, directed by Todd Phillips and "brought to you by the letter 'R'," about how grouchy sanitation worker Oscar (episode host David Harbour) came to reside in a trash can on Sesame Street. It's not the sunny place from TV, however, as the street's memorable characters (Big Bird, The Count, Cookie Monster, Snuffy, Prairie Dawn, and Elmo) are depicted as sex workers, drug addicts, homeless beggars, or criminals. But as Oscar reasons to a social worker, "If everyone calls you trash, and everyone treats you like trash, why don't you just become trash?"
- Gun City – a Crazy Eddie-type pitchman (Joe Piscopo) offers firearms as Christmas presents.
- Guns — A public service announcement showing how much firearms are a part of American life, whether you're proposing to your fiancée, need protection when you're jogging alone in the woods, welcoming a baby into the world, or bonding with an older relative. The tagline: "Guns. We're here to stay."
- Guy Fieri's Full Throttle Christmas Special — Food Network host Fieri (Bobby Moynihan) presents a holiday special with his unique dishes and featuring appearances from "the human equivalent of the food he makes," like Kid Rock (Brooks Wheelan), Criss Angel (Kyle Mooney), Bret Michaels (Taran Killam), Kimbo Slice (Kenan Thompson), Mimi from The Drew Carey Show (Aidy Bryant), Verne Troyer (John Milhiser), Big Ang (Kate McKinnon), Dog the Bounty Hunter (John Goodman) and the cast of Pawn Stars (all played by Moynihan).
- Hallmark Mother Collection — Mother's Day cards that "crazy weirdo" sons who enjoy dressing up and acting like their mothers can give themselves ("because you're not just a good son, you're also a wonderful mother").
- Hallmark Channel Countdown to Christmas — A promo for the network's nearly round-the-clock block of wholesome holiday-themed films that was cut for time from a December 2017 episode. The ad checks off many of the tropes the films are famous for, including its use of familiar faces, Canadian locations, and similarly themed storylines ("It's quantity over quality, people"). The films promoted here include:
- Yes, Santa! starring Jessica Normal (Kate McKinnon) as a businesswoman who leaves the big city to care for her grandmother's Christmas tree farm and is wooed by an old classmate — who's really a young Santa Claus played by "Canadian handsome" actor Chris Bearstick (episode host James Franco)
- Christmas Kitchen Wish, in which a baker and single mom (Heidi Gardner) finds herself magically trapped inside a snowglobe and requesting extraction assistance from her “black co-worker with no backstory” (Kenan Thompson)
- Prince Santa, with "once-famous, now very Christian actress" Meredith Devoe-Ellis (Melissa Villaseñor) portraying a figure skater who, after getting amnesia, falls for her kingdom's handsome prince — played by Chris Bearstick, because Hallmark Channel got him to do "two of these for no pay"
- Hamburger Helper Antibacterial - Chris Parnell pitches this food item that includes the "powerful antibacterial agent" Tristanex to a grocery-shopping couple (Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer) unsure if the days-old hamburger meat in their refrigerator is safe to eat. Parnell's cooking demonstration reveals, despite the product's acrid smell, that the meat's "germ volume is almost cut in half" (by 37.99% to be precise). Also promoted is Chicken Helper with Chlorine Bleach.
- Hamm & Bublé — Episode host Jon Hamm and musical guest Michael Bublé (or "bubbly" as Hamm intentionally misprounces it) invite you to their high-class restaurant that specializes in pork dishes, sparkling champagne, and live entertainment by a visibly nervous Bublé.
- Handi-Off – a topical treatment used for removal of excess fingers. ("Also try new 'Toe-Riffic!'")
- Hands-Free Selfie Stick — A traditional selfie stick needs to be held with one hand. Not this version, whose long, a bendable arm reaches out over the user and is inserted (inconveniently) up to their buttocks. Victoria f bachelor fake boobs host Amy Schumer ("It takes pictures?") makes an endorsement cameo.
- Happy Fun Ball – a seemingly simple children's toy with dozens of disclaimers for absurdly dangerous health hazards and life-threatening properties, notably among them "Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball" and "Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin."
- Harley's Bristol Cream – a parody of Harvey's Bristol Cream, in which Gilda Radner uses the phone to find dates and then calls out to people on the street via opening the window.
- Have a Nice Day – a trailer for a horror film where smiley faces haunt potential murder victims.
- HBO — With the mega-popular Game of Thrones about to enter its final season, the network promotes "prequels, sequels, and spinoffs," among them the Daria-inspired animated show Arya; Samwell Tarly and Gilly in the sitcom The King of Queens Landing; and the crossover Game of Thrones: Special Victims Unit, with Benson and Tutuola (Mariska Hargitay and Ice-T, in costumed cameos) investigating a gruesome murder in Westeros.
- Headz Up – An app that clues people into their surroundings and keeps them out of danger (e.g. "A truck is coming," "Your wife is speaking") while their eyes are glued to their mobile device.
- Hedley and Wyche — An ad for "the British toothpaste," one infused with "two teaspoons of pure cane sugar… for a smile that says, 'Yum, that was good.'" A spoof of the stereotype that the Brits, by and large, maintain poor dental hygiene.
- Heinz Relax — Near-empty bottles of ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard tend to make flatulent noises, leaving the user embarrassed and the butt of familial jokes at the Thanksgiving dinner table. But these redesigned bottles, when used, make a relaxing sigh… and other noises associated with sexual intercourse. ("Must be 18 or over to buy.")
- Hey, You – Gilda Radner appears in this ad for a perfume for women in search of a one-night stand.
- Helmsley Spook House – Leona Helmsley (played by Nora Dunn) creates a haunted house with the same style, class, and obedient workers as her hotels.
- Herbal Essences for Men — Attorney Amy Poehler has already "got the urge," but opposing counsel Will Ferrell and other men in the courtroom get it too in this parody of Clairol's shampoo line and its playfully sensual ad campaign.
- Herman & Sons Sperm Bank — George Herman (episode host Seth Rogen) and Eugene Sons (Kenan Thompson) announce a going-out-of-the-business sale at "the oldest sperm bank in greater Lansing;" they're turning the space into a TCBY franchise, so they need to get rid of their sperm stock to assure "minimal sperm-to-yogurt crossover."
- Heroin AM — An over-the-counter form of heroin for those who want to take the drug yet remain productive parents, workers, etc. Though panned for painting the Opioid epidemic in the United States in a humorous tone, the 2016 ad was also lauded for highlighting the issue in the first place, including the drug's dangerous risks ("Side effects include… it's heroin, so all that stuff") and its impact on people from all walks of life.
- HiberNol – "From the makers of ComaDose" comes this NyQuil-like cold medicine that knocks a person out for the entire cold and flu season. Pitchman Phil Hartman ("You can't buy stronger medication… in this country") and Chris Farley appear in this Season 18 ad.
- Hillary Clinton — Wanting to lure some of the younger voters attracted to Bernie Sanders during the 2016 Democratic primaries, Clinton (Kate McKinnon) starts taking some of the same campaign stands, so much to the point that she slowly begins to mimic the Brooklyn-accented Vermont Senator ("I'm whoever you want me to be, and I approve this message. I'm trying, you guys.").
- Hire The Incompetent – This Season 3 ad for a temp agency that offers unskilled workers for hire marked the first appearance of Gilda Radner's recurring character Roseanne Roseannadanna.
- The Hobbit sequels — Director Peter Jackson stretches the film trilogy into a 19-part series, all filmed in "S#!T-Vision" and featuring such filler material as delaying a march to Smaug's lair (because something was left behind at The Shire); Gandalf trying to remember a name; splitting a dinner bill; and "The Elf Queen" (episode host Jennifer Lawrence) deciding on what outfit to wear.
- Holding Your Own B--bs Magazine – Episode host Sarah Michelle Gellar is topless in this ad promoting a magazine exclusively dedicated to photos of male and female celebrities cupping their breasts. The ad spoofs the numerous copycat magazine covers that re-created Janet Jackson's famous 1993 Rolling Stone cover.
- Home Security Decoy – mannequins posing as criminals already breaking into a house to trick real thieves into thinking it's already being robbed.
- Homocil – a special drug that helps reduce the stress of parents whose male children express homosexual tendencies. The tag line: "Because it's your problem, not theirs."
- Hoops — Gino's girlfriend (episode host Jennifer Lopez) and her cousin (Melissa Villaseñor) promote a store where they sell customized, 100%-metal hoop earrings ("So luxurious, they’ll turn your ears the color of money").
- Horizon System 12 — After Zenith introduces its System 3 line of television sets, Horizon Corporation tops it with "a masterpiece" of a TV set, one that produces high-performance sound and pictures… but is revealed at the end to be a gigantic console with massive speakers and a relatively minuscule picture tube.
- Horse Play Soundtrack — From Season 36, the soundtrack to an upcoming animated film about horses who play baseball features "totally original" songs from Randy Newman (Fred Armisen), Alanis Morissette (episode host Anne Hathaway), and The Cranberries' Dolores O’Riordan (Kristen Wiig).
- Hot Sauce Carry Purse by Tabasco — In case the party you're attending doesn't have any hot sauce at the buffet table, bring your own sauce in this purse ("available at Wilsons Leather") that's "insulted and calibrated to keep your [various] sauces organized and fresh."
- Hoverboards — This December 2015 ad plays up on the popularity of self-balancing scooters and their propensity to catch fire (it's the gift that says "I hate walking, but I love fires").
- How to Order Sushi Like a CEO – a pompous executive (episode host Matt Dillon) promotes his book (that he hired someone else to write) on how to order at sushi restaurants, all the while patronizing sushi restaurant waitress Maya Rudolph ("Anything else, Mr. Douche?").
- HuckaPM — How does White House Press SecretarySarah Huckabee Sanders (Aidy Bryant), sleep at night after a long day of making outlandish statements in defense of the Trump administration? With this sleep aid that combines Melatonin, extra strength quaaludes, and the "One and Dones" prescribed to Michael Jackson by his doctor. One tablet puts Sanders instantly to sleep.
- Huggies Thong – useless diapers shaped like thongs; parodies the increasing phenomenon of the sexualization of young children, and parents who allow their children to dress in risqué, revealing clothing more suited for adults.
- Infiniti Toilets — Mike Myers in a toilet ad (same style as the Jonathan PryceInfiniti J30 commercials).
- Interbank — A husband and wife (Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon) extol the aforementioned bank that sends black ops to find your stolen traveler's checks.
- I Know Why The Caged Bird Laughs — Promo for a new TV show featuring Maya Angelou (played by Maya Rudolph) pulling pranks on her circle of celebrity friends; the pranks include putting a pie on Morgan Freeman's (Jay Pharoah) chair, taking the bottom out of Dr. Cornel West's (Kenan Thompson) suitcase, and interrupting Stephen King's (Bill Hader) book signing to tell him that his car has been towed.
- iPhone — Fred Armisen plays a man who uses his iPhone to keep his relationship with his pregnant wife separate from his affair with a French-Canadian woman whom he loves more. (In the NBC rebroadcasts, this was replaced with another iPhone ad, this time with Jason Sudeikis as a man who uses his iPhone to elude the police.)
- ISIS — A controversial Season 40 parody of a Toyota Camry ad that victoria f bachelor fake boobs a proud father driving his daughter to the airport, where she departs for U.S. Army training. Here, however, the daughter (episode host Dakota Johnson) is being picked up not by an Army representative but by Islamic State militants, as her father (Taran Killam) looks on with apprehension. The ad was both blasted for mining comedy out of ISIS' atrocious actions and applauded for daring to ridicule the terrorist group.
- i-sleepPRO — This ambient sleep aid that has settings for "white noise" and "black noise"; the latter includes thumping bass music, dialogue from Tyler Perry sitcoms and the movie Friday, domestic arguments, and an old woman complaining about her foot pain. Jay Pharoah provides voice work for the device.
- It Gets Better Project — A decade after its founding, the nonprofit organization providing positive advice to LGBT youth calls on four previous participants (played by Punkie Johnson, Kate Mckinnon, Bowen Yang, and episode host Dan Levy, all openly LGBT in real life) to advise the youth of today that it will indeed get better for them… but that they'll encounter the same types of problems (e.g. income taxes, rejection and harassment over not liking something, annoying family members, kids' pet iguanas) that Levy's character notes were "previously only available to straight people… and that is progress."
- I Was Not a Sucker for Saturday Night — Laraine Newman (as her recurring character Sherry) pitches a book about her risqué encounters with the male writers of Saturday Night Live.
- J.J. Casuals – Jack Johnson (Andy Samberg) promotes shoes shaped like bare feet for those who are as casual as he is.
- Jack Flatts — The fast casual restaurant chain talks of its adjustment to providing curbside delivery due to COVID-related restrictions against indoor serving ("We know how much you miss coming in"). But 27 seconds into the ad, the transmission is interrupted by thrash metal music and what appears to be a group of militia members demanding that the state reopen Jack Flatts and lift mask-wearing mandates; if their demands aren't met… [low whisper] "We're gonna kidnap the governor."
- Jake's Non-Stick Underwear for Men — Made from the same durable ceramic coating found in cookware, this prescription-only underwear is built for men who want their undergarments as rough and tough as they are, and who'd rather not go through the embarrassment of double bagging and disposing of their old, soiled-beyond-salvation underwear.
- The JaMarcus Brothers: Now Is the Time for a Tickle Fight, He He! — An ad for a CD featuring slow jam songs from the JaMarcus Brothers: Marcus (Kenan Thompson), Darnell (Jay Pharoah) and "adopted white virgin" Englebert (episode host Christoph Waltz).
- Jamitol – A parody of Geritol in which a husband (Chevy Chase) extols the virtues of the multivitamin that has kept his wife (Michael O'Donoghue) working to the point of exhaustion. "My wife. I think I'll stuff her!"
- Jam Hawkers – Carrying the Smucker's slogan ("With a name like Smucker's, it has to be good!") to absurd extremes, this Season 1 skit finds SNL cast members outdoing each other in endorsing, in the following order, fruit preserves so good that the manufacturers dare to give them names that are more horrible and disturbing then the last:
- Jane Curtin – Fluckers: "It's got to be good!"
- Chevy Chase – Nose Hair: "You can imagine how good it victoria f bachelor fake boobs be… mm–mm!"
- Dan Aykroyd – Death Camp: "Just look for the barbed wire on the label!"
- John Belushi – Dog Vomit & Monkey Pus: "This stuff has got to be terrific!"
- Chevy Chase – Painful Rectal Itch: "The taste? [mimicing chef's kiss] MMM WAH!"
- Dan Aykroyd – Mangled Baby Ducks: "Great jam! Beautiful jam!"
- John Belushi – 10,000 Nuns and Orphans: (responding to Jane's "What's so bad about that?" inquiry) "They were all eaten by rats! Oh so good!"
- Garrett Morris, who mumbles the name of the jam he's brought in, one Jane assures the audience is "the brand so disgusting you can't say it on television."
- Jar Glove – A parody of commercials that use black-and-white dramatizations to show someone struggling to perform an everyday task without the use of the product being sold. Here, a housewife (Kristen Wiig) accidentally kills her husband (Jason Sudeikis), resists arrest, is sentenced, goes to prison, plots and executes an escape, and hides out from prison guards—all because she struggled with opening the lid on a jar without benefit of the Jar Glove.
- Javis Home Security System – a commercial that begins as a diaper ad featuring a man (Will Ferrell) reminiscing about the first time he changed his baby's diaper. The baby's mother (Ana Gasteyer) enters the room, yelling, "Who the hell are you?!" and the man makes a frantic escape out the window while the mother cries and holds her baby in fear.
- Jenson Mint – phony dollars and coins for rich people who want homeless panhandlers to leave them alone once and for all.
- Jewess Jeans – Gilda Radner is the model in this parody of Jordache jeans (and, to a lesser extent, Levy's rye bread). The Levy's-like tag line advises that "no one has to be Jewish" to wear Jewess ("but it wouldn't hurt", Radner adds).
- Jiffy Express – When you forgot your package had to be at its destination yesterday, Jiffy says "We'll take the package… AND the blame" by back-dating packages and simulating shipping delays.
- Jiffy Pop Air Bag – Eat popcorn while you're waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
- Jogger Motel – A parody of the commercials for Black FlagRoach Motel roach traps. Its tagline read, "Joggers jog in, but they don't jog out".
- Joe Caucasian,Joe Dude,Joe Hetero, and Joe Not-a-Rapist — Promos for Fox reality shows based on Joe Millionaire, where a bachelor tricks female contestants into thinking he (or in the case of Joe Dude, she) is white, a male, a heterosexual, or not a convicted serial rapist.
- Jon Hamm's John Ham – the actor promotes ham you can eat while sitting on the toilet, complete with a dispenser similar to that of toilet paper.
- K-Put Price-Is-Rite Stamp Gun — a price-stamp gun that allows shoppers to freely alter the prices of various goods (particularly groceries) in their own favor.
- Kannon AE-1 — a camera "so simple, so advanced, even Stevie Wonder [as himself] can use it!" A spoof of Canon AE-1SLR.
- Kate & Ali — a series of promos for a spoof of Kate & Allie—only instead of two divorced women, it's screen legend Katharine Hepburn (Martin Short) sharing a domicile with boxing great Muhammad Ali (Billy Crystal).
- KCF Shredders — Lampoons fast food industry's marketing to kids, in this case with lettuce. "Now with How Stella Got Her Groove Back action figures!"
- Kemper Pedic Bed — Stacey & Pete Kemper (Vanessa Bayer and episode host Jason Segel) promote their "me-time mattress" that allows one spouse to get a very restful night's sleep while the other than do whatever they desire.
- Koohl Toilet — Parroting the classic "1984" ad that introduced Apple'sMacintosh computer, complete with a sledgehammer-wielding protagonist (episode host Benedict Cumberbatch), this ad promotes the latest toilet fixture from the Kohler Co. that allows one to sit “the cool way” on a toilet—backwards, with your arms casually draped over the back—as opposed to the forward-facing old toilets Big Brother dictates the proletariat to use.
- Kim's Fairytale Regions stock dividend — "Whoopsies, I got divorced!" So admits Kim Kardashian (Nasim Pedrad) in this promo for the latest E! special centered on the Kardashian family, this time making a glamorous event out of Kim's divorce from Chris Humphries (Andy Samberg).
- Kool-Aid — The same week Gillette launched its "The Best Men Can Be" campaign, which encouraged men to become better role models, this January 2019PSA calls out out the Kool-Aid Man and paints his longtime propensity to crash through walls as a bad influence of masculine behavior on both boys (Colin Jost's son crashes through another kid's playset) and grown men (Alex Moffat crashes through a conference room door to interrupt Heidi Gardner's business presentation).
- Kotex Classic — a very large sanitary napkin, attached to a belt and clearly visible under a woman's clothing, very much like the sanitary napkins worn by women and girls of the 1950s.
- Lady Business — "From the creators of Lipstick Jungle and Cashmere Mafia" comes this series that follows three beautiful, powerful New York businesswomen (Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, and Casey Wilson), and a fourth woman (Tina Fey) who removes dead animals from under houses.
- Lansford Brothers & Associates: Hangmen-At-Law — Businessman brothers (Will Forte and Bill Hader) offer professional Texas-style lynchings.
- The Laughing Buddha — Episode host Howard Hesseman promotes a health food store that sells novelty items people can use to play pranks on vegetarians, vegans, and those into the organic lifestyle.
- Law & Order: Parking Violations Unit — A promo for the latest addition to the Law & Order franchise, this one centered on the police who investigate parking crimes and the district attorneys who prosecute the ticket-challenging offenders.
- Leave Me Alurn — If women want to avoid small talk with men, they can use this "conversation prophylactic" in the shape of a funerary urn to make men think they want to be left alone while they spread their loved one's ashes. From the makers of Lower Back Spikes, a belt used for women who are sick of men touching them on the smalls of their backs when they walk past them.
- Leevi's Three-Legged Jeans — Various SNL cast members cavort about in these jeans that feature a redundant third leg in the middle. The Season 17 ad features a reggae-tinged jingle, various catchphrases (e.g. "Three at Last," "A leg and a leg and a leg"), and this ad-ending remark from Tim Meadows: "Hey, not any dumber than acid-washed."
- Lemon Glow — Ex-biker chick Molly Shannon wistfully recalls her drugs-and-sex days while cleaning the suburban home (and related family life) she's conned herself into, using this household cleaner "for the home you weren't sure you wanted."
- Leland-Meyers Home Headache Test (HHT) — Run a "moderate amount" of your blood in a centrifuge, place one drop on a test strip, and in two hours you'll woodforest bank routing number texas whether or not you actually have a headache. A Season 20 parody of home pregnancy tests featuring Janeane Garofalo and Kevin Nealon.
- Lesbian Period Drama — "From the makers of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and The Favourite" comes this hauntingly-lensed film featuring a cold, seaside setting, c. 1840; two straight actresses (Heidi Gardner and episode host Carey Mulligan) in the lead roles; 12 lines of dialog in a 21⁄2-hour run time; and "a sex scene so graphic, you'll think, 'Oh, right, a man directed this.'"
- Levi's Wokes — sizeless (i.e. baggy), style-neutral (i.e. grayish brown), gender non-conforming denim jeans for a generation that defies labels.
- Lexon Paradox — Two automotive design teams produced two completely opposite cars (e.g., one was the most expensive car ever, the other the cheapest; one was the safest, the other designed to throw flaming victims hundreds of feet in a crash). In the end, the two were combined to create The Paradox.
- Lexus — The luxury car maker's "December to Remember" sales event is parodied in this 2020 ad that finds Beck Bennett surprising his wife and son (Heidi Gardner and episode host Timothée Chalamet) with a new Lexus sedan on Christmas morning, complete with a red bow on the roof. But Gardner is more horrified than surprised, considering Bennett has been out of a steady job for well over a year, thought the car cost only $3999 (that's just the down payment "due at signing"), and got neighbor Mikey Day to loan him the money. The closing tag line: "Give the gift of Lexus, and definitely talk it over first."
- Liberty Medical — Wilford Brimley (episode host John Goodman) begins his pitch for this medical supply delivery service by explaining how, with "dye-a-beetuss", he has to take extra care of his health, but continually qualifies, and admits to exaggerations, until by the end, he's described hiding a "food boner" over delivery of $200 worth of pork ribs to his house, never having moved fast enough to sweat, and the fact that he may not even have diabetes—his doctor "just thinks I look like the kinda guy who would have it".
- Lil' General Fireworks — A fireworks manufacturer promotes their product as a family-friendly way turn any boring weekend into the 4th of July.
- Lil' Poundcake — This Season 37 ad promotes a doll that's not only sweet enough for girls to play with, it gives them an FDA-approved HPV vaccination shot when they least expect it.
- Lincoln Financial — Three spoofs of the investment company's "Get to know the future you" campaign, specifically an ad in which an airline passenger meets the future version of himself.
- Lincoln MKC — Episode host Jim Carrey lampoons Matthew McConaughey's existential pitchwork for Lincoln'scrossover utility vehicle in this trio of ads. McConaughey gets so lost in his deep thoughts that in the third ad, he drives right through an Allstate commercial parody, hitting Allstate pitchman Dennis Haysbert (Kenan Thompson) in the process. Carrey would later reprise this spoof in the Celebrity Jeopardy sketch in SNL's 40th Anniversary Special.
- Lite Beer — Bill Cosby (Eddie Murphy), much as he does with Jell-O, promotes the virtues of Lite to a table of children in this Season 6